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Female Masturbation

Jake: Gee whiz! I hope Santa Claus comes tonight!
Andrew: Shut the fuck up. You know that he's as real as a female masturbating.
Jake: But female masturbation is a myth
Andrew: Exactly.
by Narfaloila March 9, 2018
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Brain masturbation

the feeling your brain gets after getting in the frog position, and breathing in and out very deeply for 20 seconds, then standing up very quick and blowing on your thumb very hard.
yo my friend matt just did brain masturbation!
by Braves202 October 9, 2009
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Masturbating Raven

The self-gratifying use of something that has been pillaged from another origin.
Especially a topic of conversation.
Family guy is a 'masturbating raven' of conversation - two people begin talking, one says something like:
"I hate raccoons."
The other says something like:
"Remember that Family Guy episode when..."
The other person ripostes with another episode...etc.

They didn't come up with the gags but they use, and talk of, them like they own them.
It destroys original conversation.
by Michael Berry, That Guy. December 15, 2008
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3d Masturbation

The act of taking a shit, not wiping, then masturbating so it smells as though you're actually there in the pornographic movie.
Dude 1 : DUDE have you tried 3d Masturbation ?!
Dude 2 : DUDEEE YEAHHH SMELLED LIKE I WAS THERE !
by Senor.Bivins December 14, 2010
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Invisible Masturbation

When you put your hands in the air and say "invisible masturbation" it is a common term as it means no one else can see you masturbating in public
"Hey he's having invisible masturbation!"
"WOW he's cool, he's having some invisible masturbation
by Knowitalltohelpyouknowitall September 24, 2011
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culinary masturbation

When you cook yourself an amazing culinary treat
Today I pleasured myself with a bit of culinary masturbation by baking myself a sinfully sweet chocolate cheesecake with a warm caramel drizzle.
by venefica May 17, 2011
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