Sushi Wank

A sushi wank is when you take some chopstick, wrap your dick in seaweed and use the chopsticks to jerk your sea planty penis until you cum

The other day in Yo Sushi I popped to the toilets for a sushi wank, I ate the seaweed after

by Mr.FoxNoir June 16, 2019

wank regret

When you finish masturbating and realise that what you just jerked to was extremely odd.

You’re not you when you’re horny. NoFap. Don’t bust a nut.

“Mate, I went onto the Rule 34 website last night. I saw some shit.”
“I bet that was a serious case of wank regret.”

by Y’know we stay t1tty December 18, 2017

German wank

A method of masturbation using just the thumb and a downward facing open palm in sharp thrusts from the elbow away from the body

Man, that Tiffany is mental, all she would do is German wank me the other night

by Currant bunman May 24, 2015

Ass Wank

When you don't have a penis so you masturbate your anus

Friend 1: Man, I was so horny last night but I don't have a dick :(
Friend 2: You should try ass wanking, it's so good

by Superbankai April 26, 2016

Alpha Wank

When a male has a wank staring at himself in the mirror, usually accompanied with positive remarks "you're a fuckin good looking bastard"
One would engage in such activities to build confidence within themselves as an alpha and also in the bedroom.

Bro I had the best alpha wank last night, I feel real alpha today from it

by M3n1s January 11, 2022

Philosophical Wank

When you're wanking using just your mental recollections and you begin asking yourself deep questions about the meaning of life, culminating in a more fulfilling view of the universe and life as you bust a nut.

"I just had a philosophical wank and suddenly I see things much clearer"

by Socratesticles July 16, 2020

Wank warden

When in a large group of people and 1/8 of them being the commander of all the penises among them this being the wank warden

John: did you go to last summers camp I heard Jerry was the wank warden

by Backedpotatoenoises February 6, 2021