Wank Shuffle

Imagining an object of desire during masturbation and then deciding to switch focus on a different source of inspiration. E.g An ex-girlfriend gets replaced in imagery for the office hottie. Beware to not allow an image of a grotty rotter in while locking on

I can't dedicate this one to one woman, I'll put a few on wank shuffle

by Nested Elevator January 6, 2018

Pasty-wank

When one lightly heats up a pasty and proceeds to place his gentails inside, asserting his dominace over the pastry item for pleasure.

I walked into the kitchen the other day and caught Charlie Sheen having a pasty-wank!

by Vernonthecomplicated October 30, 2017

Ass Wank

When you don't have a penis so you masturbate your anus

Friend 1: Man, I was so horny last night but I don't have a dick :(
Friend 2: You should try ass wanking, it's so good

by Superbankai April 26, 2016

Wog Wanking

Wog wanking is the term of an overly Australian man or woman masturbating furiously over morally heartbreaking things.

Oi cunt, what'd you do last night?

Oh I was just Wog Wanking.

Mate, you need to fucking stop.

by Undeniably Fucked Up October 10, 2016

Shame wank

When you wank for so long and you have used up all your acceptable wank fantasies. You must then journey to the dark side of the wank, which is full of all the good looking people just too young to go out with in school.

Oh shit, there goes my last valid wank fantasy. I should stop before this turns into a shame wank.

by ShammyDooWop August 23, 2016

Immersive Wank

The act of using noise cancelling headphones to watch pornography while masturbating in order to feel more involved. This can also be levelled up by adding a VR headset.

I had a cheeky immersive wank earlier, it really felt like Cindy was moaning right in front of me; I came so much quicker!

by Cheddar Brie Jealousy December 17, 2019

Philosophical Wank

When you're wanking using just your mental recollections and you begin asking yourself deep questions about the meaning of life, culminating in a more fulfilling view of the universe and life as you bust a nut.

"I just had a philosophical wank and suddenly I see things much clearer"

by Socratesticles July 16, 2020