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captain calculate

1: A mythical figure whom possesses math skills of a much higher level than that of an average mortal man. (Believed by some to have the ability to solve complex quadratic equations with minimal expenditure of time and/or physical exertion.)

2: One whom has the ability to go medieval on that seemingly unsolvable and obscure "The train left the station" problem's ass.
"Im no captain calculate, but 31 divided by 2 doesn't exactly perplex me."
by The Math Merlin January 11, 2008
mugGet the captain calculatemug.

Captain Puffy

The girl who made Josh Bingle(ellum) the man he is today.
Person 1: "Hey who is Captain Puffy?"
Person 2: "OH, she's the one who made josh have 1300 subscribers and part of the morning among us lobby, basically the pereson who made him fairly famous."
by cucucucuucmber March 16, 2023
mugGet the Captain Puffymug.

Tuna Captain

A man who skippers lots of Tuna - or has sex with a lot of women.
Sam: "Hey Mike, is that the Tuna Captain talking to your girlfriend?"
Mike: "Oh shit. It is. You don't think he's skippered her, do you???"
Sam: "Probably. Guess you're single again."
Mike: "Fuck the Tuna Captain."
Sam: "Yeah, she already did, dude."
by MoscowRant February 14, 2012
mugGet the Tuna Captainmug.

Captain cougar

Tall, bearded, hipster man-like being, likes to flirt, drink and play poker.
Loves a good wooly mammoth to keep warm at night, but not against a night alone with a big tube of prescription lube.
That guy has a big beard - “must be a captain cougar”
by Hookname December 4, 2020
mugGet the Captain cougarmug.

captain curvy

Captain Curvy is the kind of person that has a small weirdly curved penis. Usually has very very white skin and has an obsession with fingering buttholes and in some cases has an obsession with cats.
Person1: wow, look at that fag over there.

Person2: I know right. I even heard he fingered someone's butthole in the back of a mini-van.

Person1: what a Captain Curvy.
by RussianBear December 9, 2013
mugGet the captain curvymug.

Captain's Crew

A drinking event in which 4 individuals select a secluded location (preferrably one of which that has restricted access) and partake in the dangerous, irresponsible act of finishing a entire handle of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum as fast as possible without leaving this location. The rules are strict, no member can leave the location until the handle is dry. No participants are allowed to come or go for ANY reason including to urinate, to call lame girlfriends, to deficate or to vomit. A typical Captains Crew invloves 4 frat guys locking them selves in a room and finishing the handle in about an hour. It usually comes about to 12-13 shots per individual assuming everyone pulls their own weight. This is a team drinking event and is not for the faint of heart. The record for completion is currently set at 11 minutes and 37 seconds set by 4 allstars at Purdue University in 2008.
"I had to shit in a trash can during that Captain's Crew last night."

"Hey! You guys wanna dig a hole in the beach and do a Captain's Crew in it tonight?"

"Wait, you guys just finished a Captains Crew? No wonder you sound like Helen Keller."
by MrTaterCat April 2, 2012
mugGet the Captain's Crewmug.

Captain Biffington

"Well I see Jookey has taken it upon himself to buy a Captain Biffington!"
by Uncle Jibbie October 18, 2009
mugGet the Captain Biffingtonmug.

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