morning wood

morning wood is the raging boner a guy has when he wakes up -- he HAS to jack off!

Oh fuck! I've got morning wood! Got to rub one out - hope I don't miss the school-bus!

by USAF Cadet October 12, 2020

Morning Tea

A mid morning break invented by the Disability Employment Network.

Would you like a scone to go with your morning tea?

by meanieoh May 27, 2009

Morning cucumber

That first-thing-in-the-morning erection, experienced right after you wake up.

After a hot dream about Bea Arthur, I woke up and saw I had a raging morning cucumber. But no Bea Arthur. Damn!

by CrazyPants McGee September 13, 2009

Morning Loose

The female equivalent to Morning Glory or Morning Wood.

When a woman wakes first thing in the morning and is gaping wide as if ready for insertion.

"I must have been dreaming about StupidPeanut last night - woke up looser than a bucket of worms"

Girl 1: "woke up with morning loose today"
Girl 2: "did your fella notice?"
Girl 1: "yeah - thanks to the the smell"

by StupidPeanut May 27, 2010

The Morning Birds

A malady in which one involuntarily remembers images and snippets of conversation from the previous night's activities.

ie, The egg slipped off his fork, as he remembered how the tall girl had rolled her eyes at him outside the bar the night before. In addition to a throbbing headache, John had woken up with a vicious case of the morning birds.

by Chrissisyphus December 27, 2008

Morning Dew

The female's "morning wood"; waking up aroused (female).

(Waking up with her climbing on top of you): "some sweet morning dew that needs to be taken care of, I see."

by ElSenorDuke August 29, 2014

morning wood

When you wake up in the morning and you find a plank of wood with eyes and a mouth in your bed.

When you wake up in the morning,
What's the first thing that you see,
it's your MORNING WOOD!
MORNING WOOD!

Look around your neighborhood!
Everybody has...
MORNING WOOD!
MORNING WOOD!

by Tristana December 13, 2012