turd flattery

when someone happens upon an un-flushed toilet and haphazardly finds beauty in a left-behind turd
Curtis could not help but express his sincere turd flattery after he hopped upon a perfect brown spiral in the Burger King bathroom
by walterc August 05, 2023
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turd ranch

You sure as fuck don't wanna be downwind of that turd ranch on a hot-ass day!
by Kodiak Scott June 15, 2011
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Turd Flapper

n: Someone who flaps their lips nonstop but nothing but shit comes out of their mouth. The "shit" could be gossip, half truths, misinformation, or lies. Very common in social clicks and the work place.
v: The act or art of Turd Flapping.
Dude, who is the biggest Turd Flapper lately? (In a whisper, Homelslice be like Jeff G.)
Agree Bro! Agree! SO much shit comes out of his mouth, I made him a toilet paper tie.

Yo Dawg, I think she considers Kegel exercises and Turd Flapping during meetings exercise. Homegirl needs a yoga mat.
by kungfumermaid February 07, 2016
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Turd Furnace

"Damn, look at the turd furnace on her!"
by mbailey3 November 15, 2018
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magic turd

When you take a dump and the turd is not in the toilet when you get up. Only the toilet paper is in the water.
I took a dump and the turd was not it the toilet when i stood up. It disappeared like a magic turd.
by scooter July 11, 2014
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Poor Turd

The Porter-stained excrement that is released from Mark the Twink after William Gilligan relives his adventures at the Jersey shore. Usually as the result of Mark giving Will-Gill the Buffalo Eye. It is best described as gross and off-putting.
Mark- *gives William Gilligan the Buffalo eye*
Will-Gill- *instantly erect and also hungry* "You know what to do buddy."
*45 minutes pass*
Will-Gill- "You know Mark, you should really get an awesome tan..."
Mark- "I should have never gave you the Buffalo Eye. I have to drop this Poor Turd in the toilet and take 2 showers now."
Will-Gill- "Well, I used to work at Lots so..."
Will-Gill and Mark chuckle together
by Dusty Scott November 24, 2017
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go turd

Using the phrase taking a turd implies the act of a Poop Goblin, so rather than incriminating oneself, they can instead imply that they are participating in nothing but the luxury of shitting, by saying go turd.

On the other hand, the phrase go turd was inspired by the expression from George Carlin explaining that they'd rather leave a shit than take one
"Hey can you pause the game? I gotta go take a turd."
"Absolutely not, I will not have any Poop Goblins in my house... Ever... again."
"Uhh, okay, well can I just go turd then?"
"Well if you put it that way, I guess it's alright."
the Poop Goblin-sensing crossbow in the bathroom then shoots a bolt straight through the turd taker, thus proving the act of taking a turd will never be forgiven. Go turd.
by DynamiteMechaGodzilla July 02, 2023
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