too lawng ago

Refers to a period of time following an event that is too lengthy for any legal action to be taken.

I never intentionally misbehave, but I know that I still made lots of naive-minded screw-ups as an adolescent. However, now that I'm in my fifties and seeing as how I still have a 100%-clean criminal record, I assume that those accidental-slip-up events during my teenage years were way too lawng ago for me to be concerned about any legal action's ever being taken against me regarding them --- not only would the statute of limitations likely have expired decades ago, but most of the folks who'd been involved in those errors would either have forgotten about them or passed on by this time.

by QuacksO November 17, 2020

Desmodromic Lawnmower

Someone or Something which is a complete waste of time and effort.
Referring to Italian motorcycle manufacturer Ducati's "desmodromic" valve system, used on high performance motorcycles, which is vastly complicated and would give no observable benefits if integrated into a lawnmower engine.

David you fucking desmodromic lawnmower, for the fifteenth time, get out of my house!

Nah, fixing that shed is like putting Desmodromic Valves on a mower.

by xX_Herbert_McClusky_69_Xx December 28, 2020

money lawndering

Da shameless "dressing it up all pretty and nice" practice of making ill-gotten wealth appear "clean, green, and refreshingly pristine" just like da lovely thick carpet of grass in yer yard, while covering up all of da underlying "dirt" --- i.e., da various "soiled 'n' unclean" methods --- dat were actually employed to obtain said undeserved riches.

As much "dirty money" as Burnie Madeoff MADE OFF WITH and BURNED THROUGH, he'd have needed a bleepin' PROFESSIONAL LANDSCAPER to do his money lawndering for him --- merely a regular "seed, fertilize, and water" operation wouldn't cut it in his case, given da colossal degree of HIS financial misdeeds!

by QuacksO January 20, 2021

Arab Lawnmower

A arab man inserts his bomb into a womens ass and leaves it there with a 5 day timer to prevent the women from shitting. Once the bomb squad arrives they will rip it out as if it was a lawnmower releasing a bomb full of shit.

P1: Dude why are you covered in shit
P2: me and my girlfriend did the Arab Lawnmower

by theyoungersheisthebetter January 23, 2021

Alabama Lawnmower

The sexual act of getting your partner to pluck each one of your pubic hairs with their teeth, and then spitting them out at you like a lawnmore does with grass.

Sorry I was busy last night, I was just enjoying the Alabama Lawnmower with my girlfriend.

by Jackie Chan 22323 March 3, 2022

gringo lawnmower

Eats a married Mexican lady from the back

Just waiting on Tony to finish his gringo lawnmower

by Florida Offensive June 3, 2022

Mississippi Lawnmower

Whilst having intercourse in missionary position, the male or female penetrating forcefully rips out the receiving ends pubs, causing blood to drip down toward their vagina, they are usually screaming in pain. The penetrator rubs their fellatio in the blood and reinserts it. The act is usually done on siblings.

"aye man my sister and I tried the Mississippi lawnmower last night, it was amazingly rough."

by gongjio January 31, 2023