by 1010jj May 30, 2016
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Someone who's your good friend/best friend on the phone, but can't be bothered meeting up face to face to chill or have tea/coffee together.
Pretty much anyone, anyone that's a good friend on the phone, but cbf/is not interested in catching up face to face.
Pretty much anyone, anyone that's a good friend on the phone, but cbf/is not interested in catching up face to face.
George: Hey Mike, I spoke to Tony on the phone, he often sounds like a good friend, but yet either can't be bothered catching up or else keeps lying to me that we'll catch up face to face?
Mike: Dude, that's a "phone captain".
George: What's a phone captain?
Mike: Like "keyboard warrior", except much nicer of course!
Mike: Dude, that's a "phone captain".
George: What's a phone captain?
Mike: Like "keyboard warrior", except much nicer of course!
by Fair Care - Care Fair :) October 12, 2016
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Get the screen capture mug.Refers to a broad range of pseudo-maladies (where the person is merely faking/exaggerating a certain physical/emotional/mental infirmity/disability, like the infamous "selective deafness") that many lazy/selfish/uncaring people complain of, merely to get out of performing some undesirable task. These supposed maladies include:
(1) selective stamina/fatigue disorder, whereby the "sufferer" instantly becomes a nearly-lifeless "limp rag" whenever anything resembling w-o-r-k is requested/suggested; he always seems to be perfectly able to jump robustly back up again, though, when some fun/pleasant activity is subsequently offered or suggested
(2) selective phobia disorder, whereby the "sufferer" claims to have an intense fear/loathing of a certain aspect of the task at hand, again, usually to simply be relieved of having to participate in said task; he often seems to be able to placidly/confidently manage other similar-context activities just fine, however
(3) selective allergy/medical-condition disorder, similar to #2, whereby someone claims to have a serious illness/infirmity that would prevent him from safely performing a less-than-pleasant task, yet he's perfectly okay with less arduous/boring tasks which involve the same types of substances/conditions
(4) selective strength/health disorder, whereby someone claims to not be physically muscular/fit enough to perform a certain task, but yet he lifts weights, moves heavy loads in a hand-truck/wheelbarrow, etc. at other times
(1) selective stamina/fatigue disorder, whereby the "sufferer" instantly becomes a nearly-lifeless "limp rag" whenever anything resembling w-o-r-k is requested/suggested; he always seems to be perfectly able to jump robustly back up again, though, when some fun/pleasant activity is subsequently offered or suggested
(2) selective phobia disorder, whereby the "sufferer" claims to have an intense fear/loathing of a certain aspect of the task at hand, again, usually to simply be relieved of having to participate in said task; he often seems to be able to placidly/confidently manage other similar-context activities just fine, however
(3) selective allergy/medical-condition disorder, similar to #2, whereby someone claims to have a serious illness/infirmity that would prevent him from safely performing a less-than-pleasant task, yet he's perfectly okay with less arduous/boring tasks which involve the same types of substances/conditions
(4) selective strength/health disorder, whereby someone claims to not be physically muscular/fit enough to perform a certain task, but yet he lifts weights, moves heavy loads in a hand-truck/wheelbarrow, etc. at other times
My uncle claims to be helpless.clueless whenever I ask him to step in and help resolve a dispute between a fellow youngster and myself, yet he is a headmaster at a private school and is known for his firm leadership there... sounds like selective capability disorder to me!
by QuacksO January 10, 2017
Get the selective capability disorder mug.(as a pun/ variation on the Ford F-150 commercial punch line 'grab life by the horns'): one of the many possible English translations of the Latin phrase carpe diem.
as to who may have first used the expression grab capitalism by the balls to translate the Latin phrase carpe diem, I would probably have to say it would have been the 'founders' of modern WASP capitalism, people like John Locke or Thomas Hobbes.
by Sexydimma January 4, 2017
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