turd surgeon

Someone who enjoys faecal investigation.

Fred: I heard Mark likes to play with his shit before he flushes it.
Mike: yeah, he's a real turd surgeon!

by dan1582 September 6, 2013

Turd Flapper

n: Someone who flaps their lips nonstop but nothing but shit comes out of their mouth. The "shit" could be gossip, half truths, misinformation, or lies. Very common in social clicks and the work place.
v: The act or art of Turd Flapping.

Dude, who is the biggest Turd Flapper lately? (In a whisper, Homelslice be like Jeff G.)
Agree Bro! Agree! SO much shit comes out of his mouth, I made him a toilet paper tie.

Yo Dawg, I think she considers Kegel exercises and Turd Flapping during meetings exercise. Homegirl needs a yoga mat.

by kungfumermaid September 23, 2016

Turd Bundy

A guy who likes to abduct & stab turds. He is employed by London Sewerage System & likes to sneak into public restroom looking for as many floating turdmarine as possible. His family believes this is his way of releasing steam, and that if this was taken away from him he might start stabbing people & their pets. He is a serial turdstabber.

Here goes Turd Bundy, watch out!

by Jumbled McGobbledygook May 31, 2021

Squirrelly turds

A bowel movement that is somewhere between normal and diarrhea. Consistently crescent shaped and varying in number.

I went to a kegger last night and have had squirrelly turds all morning.

by BoeZoe May 27, 2010

Swerving Turd

A trim line on Chrysler, Dodge and Ram vehicles that costs extra to upgrade your steering from being held together by spaghetti, to something more stiff like crucifix wood from the Churches they are constantly going to. It allows others to see how adept they are at trying to keep their Chrysler within two lanes on the highway, and glide them almost without effort into rest areas or the breakdown lane. It also allows Chrysler drivers to use up only two parking spaces instead of the usual three or four when they park at a Trump rally or their job at a hotel sniffing farts out of bedsheets.

Even with her morbid obesity, Irene was able to stay 30mph under the speed limit in the passing lane in her Chrysler as 18 wheelers passed around her, and thanks to the Swerving Turd package, she still could stay on the phone with her church group.

by Arial3535 August 26, 2020

herd turd

Alot of single shits

Man my stomach hurt so much I had a herd turd

by Hooded tree August 11, 2017

Awk-Turd

An akward turd. When you have to crap at someone elses house and you let out a huge fart while doing it and you know people can hear you from outside the bathroom.

Sam: How was Cindy's party?
Josh: Not very good...
Sam: What happened?
Josh: Oh, I blew it with a hot girl becuase I had an awk-turd...
Sam: That sucks, dude!

by waka mcwakanson March 17, 2011