Turtle Shock

When you fuck your girl turtle style and she can't walk for 24 Hours

I gave my girl turtle shock

by LAGOUT July 20, 2019

Turtle-bite

When a man is peeing and he pinches his balls in his belt buckle but cannot remove them straight away because if he does he will end up missin the bowl and pissin everywhere. He just has to endure the pain until his piss is over.

I just got a heavy turtle-bite over behind those bushes. Ow, fuck!

by Crackpotslingshot May 14, 2019

Turtle cake

A Turtle Cake is when a man has a small penis that is also uncircumcised that resembles a frightened turtle and is put between the ass cheeks of an unsuspecting victim, thus the turtle is between the cakes.

I would love to give her a turtle cake while she’s not looking.

by River.01 March 4, 2019

Turtle Tears

An insincere display of sorrowful emotion.

The little girl shed turtle tears as she hoped her angry mother would not scold her for jumping on the bed.

by Meowmix789 October 24, 2017

Turtle porn

A guy bad at sex

Mickey: " how is Tyler's dick game?"

Heaven:"It's like turtle porn, slow and boring"

by Grumpup March 23, 2017

Urinal Turtle

yoo r-uh-nl ter-dl

1.(noun) When someone takes a dump in a urinal {original definition}.
2.(noun) An unusually small turtle that swims through the sewer and out of the urinal {additional}.
3.(verb) To shove an acquaintance's face into the urinal cake {additional}

1. I had to take a leak so badly but when I got in there I saw someone had dropped a urinal turtle.
2. My grandpa freaked out when he discovered a urinal turtle whilst relieving himself.
3. I lost a friend today when I urinal turtled him right before his big performance in front of the crowd.

by walkerslaw69696969 December 1, 2017

myrtle's turtle

A term used to describe a drunk man shitfaced off of moonshine with a puckered face, rosy cheeks and assless chaps who is about to pass out in an alley behind a hotel next to some dumpsters. He can neither stand nor sit so he squats until he gradually falls backward onto his ass in a rolling fashion teetering to and fro on his back before finally passing out (urban dictionary, 2017)

That kid looks like myrtle's turtle, careful, they bite

by Mr. Polo to you April 19, 2017