Florida Man Colonsseum

Everyone has heard an adult human rectum can stretch to 7 inches without tearing; and that raccoons can fit into holes as small as four inches. The Florida Man, takes advantage of those last few inches of clearance with the addition of an adult brown striped Atlantic octopus. Octopi can fit into anything larger than their beak. So to preform the Florida Man, one must simply trap a dumpster raccoon, catch an adult Atlantic octopus, and then hogtie the raccoon using the Optimus’s tentacles. At that point a fair amount of axle grease should ease the transition into the rectum, potato cannons can also be used for extra Florida points. The two animals will then fight to the death in the recipient’s rectum, without ever tearing the sphincter.

Bets should be placed about which animal will come out the victor.

It is also important not to bitch out and use Atlantic Pygmy octopi as they are venomous.

Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen come into the ER? We once had a guy come in with a dead raccoon and a live octopus up his ass. Everyone with him apparently had bets going about which animal would be dead when we removed them. They called it the Florida Man Colonsseum

by Jdh1002 April 11, 2023

Florida Sick

As opposed to being homesick, to be Florida Sick is to miss Florida so much you want to go back, regardless of whether or not you call Florida home.

Its February, its cold, and I’m feeling really florida sick rn. I need warm weather.

by DevilRay97 May 2, 2023

Florida Snow Monkey

When you fuck a monkey on the beach.

I gave chink the chimp a Florida Snow Monkey.

by PabloOzuna3219487436543970632 May 15, 2023

Florida

state that represses minorities with laws and policy's, making life hard.

Florida lets us gerrymander minorities right out of voting so their voice can't be heard

by dip in the road August 30, 2023

South Florida Fun Daddy

A South Floridian father who lives to surprise and entertain his young children, while sharing his passions for fast cars, travel, exotic animals, and the movies Scarface and Cocaine Cowboys.

Ohh, Jason can come out later tonight after he takes his kids to Jungle Island in his M4, feeds them dinner at El Carajo and tucks them in for bed. It’s cool. His wife accepts that he’s a South Florida Fun Daddy.

by ThatDNPTwinMom September 18, 2023

Florida Puppy

A baby alligator taken as a put

John adopted a Florida Puppy

by lkjertreksdfg November 29, 2021

Florida

A place full of drunk white people doing stupid things

Florida Man arrested for having illegal alligator fights in his basement

by Thebadguygog July 12, 2022