Skip to main content

The Turtle's Kiss

When a man manufactures a dump so perfect that as it glides over his prostate it causes mild to moderate sexual release.
Bill: "Hey Steve. I did a huge dump this morning which was so perfect that I almost had a orgasm"
Steve: "ah, I see you have experienced the majesty of The Turtle's Kiss"
by Souper Rare April 28, 2022
mugGet the The Turtle's Kiss mug.

Urinal Turtle

yoo r-uh-nl ter-dl

1.(noun) When someone takes a dump in a urinal {original definition}.
2.(noun) An unusually small turtle that swims through the sewer and out of the urinal {additional}.
3.(verb) To shove an acquaintance's face into the urinal cake {additional}
1. I had to take a leak so badly but when I got in there I saw someone had dropped a urinal turtle.
2. My grandpa freaked out when he discovered a urinal turtle whilst relieving himself.
3. I lost a friend today when I urinal turtled him right before his big performance in front of the crowd.
by walkerslaw69696969 December 1, 2017
mugGet the Urinal Turtle mug.

Turtle Belt

An elastic band (or other improvised object) used to close off the end of an uncircumcised penis at the point of ejaculation in order to quickly and cleanly move from your location.
I had to grab a turtle belt and run to the bathroom so I didn't stain the new couch.
by Redh00d4 May 3, 2018
mugGet the Turtle Belt mug.

Turtle Parade

A non trivial sized line of men at Bathroom or Portable toilet that seemingly all need to poop urgently
I was at the football game and there was a massive Turtle Parade because there was only 1 porta jon.
by Mr. Pix September 21, 2018
mugGet the Turtle Parade mug.

Turtle Head

When you get home after a long day needing to take a gargantuan shit and so you run to the toilet and knock over your kid in the hallway and slam the bathroom door shut and wait for that sweet sweet moment when you gloriously defecate all over the bathroom but instead end up straining your asscheeks for an hour only for a tiny ass piece of shit to slightly poke its way out of your asshole. That piece of shit is called a turtle head and know you have to choose to behead your turtle either by straining your asscheeks closed or pulling the piece of shit out with your fingers and now your hand smells of ass and your kid is crying in the hallway and you still have to make dinner and oh fuck why am I still alive
Mom: Jimothy, alight from your dwelling in order to receive nutrition handcrafted by your own mother.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.
by BaddSpelur October 31, 2019
mugGet the Turtle Head mug.

Baseball Turtle

Someone who is slowly covering the bases of a relationship over a period of time. Taking a relationship slowly.
Teddy's a Baseball Turtle with Anthony. It's been six months and they've only gotten to second base!
by Kili the Dwarf December 6, 2014
mugGet the Baseball Turtle mug.

sea turtling

When one lays face down in the sand spread eagle, digs a hole, throws up in it, buries it and then proceeds to keep drinking.
Kelsey is sea turtling, time for the second part of the party.
by FriendOfSeaTurtling August 14, 2013
mugGet the sea turtling mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email