Wipe lie

When after the first wipe, the toilet paper is clean but you wipe for a second time and realise it was just an illusion. It then takes half the roll to get clean.

I had a very satisfied smile after a clean first wipe but the next revealed I had been fooled, a wipe lie!

by HizerKite November 22, 2023

one wipe delight

The euphoric feeling you experience where you go to wipe after taking a shit and you realise after one wipe that there’s nothing to clean down there

“How was your shit this morning?”
“Fantastic! It was a one wipe delight”

by My mama Jefe November 4, 2020

Poo-of-a-1000 wipes

When you take a poo and go to wipe but after 5 wipes you’re still not clean, so you have to just keep wiping and wiping and still, poop. Like a marker

I was taking a poo and when I went to wipe I just kept wiping, and wiping, still, poop. Like a marker. So I made an Alabama Wetwipe by spitting of a piece of tp because it was a Poo-of-a-1000 wipes. Why couldn’t it have been a ghost poop?

by Peltmaster August 16, 2022

Redneck Wet Wipe

When you're on the toilet taking a mean shit and you realize you have to blow your nose, so you grab some toilet paper to do so, then wipe your asshole with the now-wet and snotty toilet paper, thereby cleaning your asshole more effectively than just regular shit tickets. The best part is, unlike regular wet wipes, you can flush it without fucking up your septic tank or local sewage system.

Wife: "Honey, do we have any wet wipes? I've got the never-ending wipe happening here."
Husband: "Just blow you nose into some toilet paper!"
W: "Huh?"
H: "You know, like a Redneck Wet Wipe!"
W: "Gross, babe."
H: "Is it really any more gross than what just came out of your asshole?"
W: "Fair point." *honk*

by Crap-tain April 20, 2025

ash wiping

when you are wiping your ass from back to front. so all the shit lands on a males ballsack and sits there forever until turned to ashes and fell off. (some people do this btw)

Ash wiper: Dude i hate this toilet paper, i need to switch technique to not have shit on my ballsack

Ass wiper: dude wtf (what the fuck) do you mean?

Ash wiper: i just told you

Ass wiper: How do you wipe your ass

Ash wiper: From ass crack to ballsack

Ass wiper: *ltfno* (laughing their fucking nipples off)

Ash wiper: i am an ash wiper. who is ash wiping.

by z3da October 17, 2019

one wipe more

When you shit and the shit won't come out but when you wipe it decides to fuck you in reverse and come out making you wipe once and wipe more.

That one wipe more was taking so long

by Didddies February 8, 2017

Florida wet wipe

When you piss on your sock before wiping your ass with it.

I done had to poo but ain't had no toilet paper. Blessed me for the ol Florida wet wipe!

by StupidGood March 30, 2024