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Jesus Christ

The Savior of the entire world. He loved you enough that He died for you on the cross. Come to Him, and He will give you rest. For we are all sinners, and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Admit your sin, repent, trust in Him as your only path towards salvation, and commit your life to Him. If you choose to reject this message, your blood be upon your own head...
Person 1: "Jesus is King!"
Person 2: "No He isn't"
Person 1: "I forgive you, just as He has told me to, just as He has done for the entire world. I love you, and He loved you enough to die for you. Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life."
Person 2: "Oh. that gave me a new change of mind..."
by lizardbois640 June 7, 2025
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anti christ of technology

a person who is not computer literate, or knows very little, derogatory term,,,or computers fail in their presence
all i have to do stand in front of a computer and it goes crazy,,im the anti christ of technology
by Gambino6 July 14, 2023
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JESUS CHRIST

MY HUSBAND JACOB RENE REYNA IN LUBBOCK TEXAS ACTUAL HELL ON EARTH...
JACOB RENE REYNA AKA JESUS CHRIST USES HIS PHONE TO CONTROL THE PEOPLE IN ACTUAL HELL CITY... WHILE THEY THINK THEY HAVE ME FUCK IN THE SHADOWS...
by Jacob and Matthew Reyna July 24, 2023
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Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
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Jesus Christ

by big_nae_nae August 11, 2023
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Pleasus christ

A cheeky phrase that is used when intending to politely ask for anything. It both captivates its recipients, and lets them know that the user is a follower of Jesus.
Mama:
Son, would you like some more milk?

Son:
Yes mama.

Mama:
What’s the magic word?

Son:
Pleasus Christ.

Mama:
Good boy, my son. Now go pray to Jesus. Pleasus turn off the light before going to bed.
by bodakun April 19, 2024
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Christ-gendered

A person who feels that God exists and that God assigned them a specific gender with divine intention. This person accepts their assigned gender as given at birth and aims to honor their creator and the identity that was assigned to them by God.
How are you not all stressed out about your pronouns? Because I was Christ-gendered at birth and it's not a problem to be solved.
by HardColdTruth May 3, 2024
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