Velvet Morning

The type of morning you have when you're having tea and sitting with your rich parents and thinking "the minister's booked and the Paris flat is getting readied, life is good" when your poor little farmer boy soon-to-be-fiancé arrives and tells you he doesn't love you and wants to shack up with his Anne with an e.

Gilbert dumped me this morning. What a velvet morning.

by A mystery shrouded enigma June 30, 2021

Green Velvet

The god of all gods. Nobody can defeat the legend himself

Jack: Have you heard Green Velvet’s new belter tune
Josh: yeah la he’s a legend init
George: *bows down to him and summons the god*

by squashmanjoshman10 March 9, 2019

Cold Velvet

When you use a popsicle to sexually stimulate another person.

Dude, i had the best Cold Velvet last night with that slut Mikayla!

by MoldyTwinkees September 6, 2009

velvet underground

a rock & roll band of the late sixties, possibly the most influential band of all time.

the velvet underground was the greatest band of all time.

by Eric July 8, 2004

velvet chainsaw

the act of sexing a girl in the rear end using your velvet sheets as condom (sometimes substituted with silk sheets)

On the third day, 'Top sheet' Buchmeier gave a velvet chainsaw to white women everywhere and it was good.

by susentious June 24, 2007

Velvet Wipe

A wipe job after a squeaky clean shit that is soft, smooth and requires only one pass of toilet paper thru the ass cheeks.

Thanks to his high fiber diet, Jerry always shits with confidence in knowing that he will always have squeaky clean drop followed by a Velvet Wipe.

by Eaton Holgoode February 27, 2015

Velvet Rub

To get a blow job from a women (or man) with no teeth.

Last night I had your grandma take out her dentures and give me the ole' Velvet Rub.

by Lrstyle September 14, 2011