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spank the badger 

To make a grave error in word or deed resulting in a catastrophe for another(s) for which the perpetrator(s) of the word or deed show little remorse
R and H are hitting golf balls on a driving range at an elite golf club. The trajectory of the balls being hit parallels a popular tourist walkway that hugs a scenic section of coast line. R tees up a ball and unleashes a horrific and massive swing that produces a colossal hook bending the ball to the extreme left and missleing its way directly at a group of foreign, camera-toting tourist trudgeling along on the walkway. The golf ball finds home smack in the heart of the tourists and ricochets off of one the unsuspecting tourist’s head causing him to stand stiff upright, recite a portion of his nation’s anthem and then collapse completely and totally to the ground. The ball finds purchase in a 12-gallon boiling-hot espresso-to-go ‘cup’ held by an elderly man causing the hot ‘joe’ to be sprayed all over the other visitors who begin to express their shock and outrage through an impromptu interpretive dance based loosely upon the opening scenes of 2001: A Space Odyssey. R and H look on at the show on the walkway quite detached as though watching a mildly amusing 70’s sit-com to which H offers up, “Boy, did you really spank the badger on that one!” They both chuckle at the tourists’ expense and tee another one up.
spank the badger by Royal Wulff September 15, 2009
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Spank The Camel 

The act of slapping a pack of cigarettes against your palm to tamp the tobacco down into the cigarettes. By tamping the tobacco down in this way the tobacco is packed more tightly for a longer and smoother smoke. The phrase applies no matter what brand is used.
You better spank the camel before you light it... even if it's not a camel.

spank the dolphin 

Dude, last night my mom made me spank the dolphin.
spank the dolphin by dolphins12345 December 3, 2013

spank the monkey 

When a man masterbates or strokes his penis
All of a sudden, he pulled down his pants and started spanking that monkey!

Spank The Doof 

The new way of asking someone if you're allowed to use their vape.
Hey bro do you mind if i spank the doof?

My friend was going to come over and hang out, but he was too busy spanking his doof.
Spank The Doof by Doofspanker June 27, 2018

spank the clit 

verb. An expression one jokingly says to a friend, referring to his habits of masturbation.
Steve: "Man, there's nothing going on tonight. I think I'm just gonna stay in."
Billy: "You gonna stay home, pop in a couple of porns and spank the clit?"
Steve: "Is there something wrong with that?!"
spank the clit by stockman09 November 12, 2010

Spank The Monkey 

When you own a giant stuffed monkey and spank him.
Chrys Starr likes to spank the monkey live on Facebook!
Spank The Monkey by Walden Scott February 18, 2019