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philosopher

A person who thinks philosophy is a real job. A person who thinks about senseless things, then tries to convince everyone that he is right.
Philosopher: Is it alright to lie?

Student: Sometimes, I suppose

Philosopher: That's not an answer, just say yes or no.

Student: Uhh, no then.

Philosopher: But what if terrorist were asking where all your friends lived, would you tell the truth?

Student: Just shut up, that is a stupid thing to ask.
by shotoku64 January 11, 2011
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philosopher's hangover

The general malaise, fatigue, or otherwise hangover-like symptoms that are caused by discussing or debating a philosophical topic too late at night which resulted in you both (a) cognitively never resolving the issue and (b) losing an entire night's worth of sleep attempting to.
Issa, Ali, and Nick all woke up with a really bad philosopher's hangover after spending all night trying to solve the mind-body problem.
by n.b. moore September 29, 2017
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Philosopher

Philosopher is quiet simpily a faggout. He contains great power as him staring at him turns you into stone. Philosopher is also renoun for his high intelect, by calling people faggouts. Being called a faggout is the second highest honour a person can recieve, bar engaging in release gains with FL STUDIO. Throughout every single females life they are expected to go on a pilgrimage and offer up their body for release gains with Philosopher. In order yo become a faggout you must eat Chicken faggouts and eat your sisters meal prep and blame her for being slefish for not making it for him. Within one day of Arnold Split after changing from PPL Philosopher achieved the physique that everybody dreams of which is 46% of FL Studios physique. thus showing his unmatched genetics powered by chicken faggouts and his sister meal prep.
"What a faggout" - Philosopher
by coachyugivista May 11, 2023
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The philosopher

Atleast once in everyone’s like they’ll come across a self proclaimed philosopher and the Gumby that follows them about saying preach or oath, you can usually find them on Instagram sharing pictures of their sad, depressing and miserable life usually the lost are captioned like a dog in a well or brain can’t fathom what the hate say. Their misery is usually caused by a gf not wanting to hang out that day sending them into a spiral of depression and anxiety
by Cono12 December 20, 2018
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philosopher

The academic equivalent of a guru.

A guru scams you by feeding you metaphysical horse crap and all he wants in exchange is for you to give up all of your worldy possessions and follow him but since you'll be giving up all of your worldy possessions,why not sell them and give the proceeds to the guru?

Whereas a philosopher is pretty much in the exact same business except the scam is to sell books.
I fucking hate philosophy and philosophers.
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philosopher

Someone who makes a living out of thinking. What they essentially do is create "constructs" and boundaries for what can and cannot be thought or what is or what is not acceptable behaviour.

Their job is to make a construct that is acceptable to the largest number of people so that we don't go nuts killing each other.

That's the BEST they can do. And usually they suck at it because there's always a good deal of people smart enough not to fall for that bullshit.

It's arguable that if there were no philosophers to conjure up bullshit "social contracts," we'd all learn to get along fairly peacefully anyhow. In reality no rules for life do exist and we all get along pretty fucking well.

So essentially they are a bunch of (usually old) wankers blowing wind up each other's asses.
David Hume, Heidegger, Nietzsche, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and a medley of other asshats can be considered "Philosophers".
by Aihkeem Dawnerface March 22, 2009
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philosopher

A study of though of which there are 2 Arch Types,

Realist Philosophers: Asks not why, but how

Bull****er philosopher: Spends all day asking.....whyyyyyyy?

There may exist a counter balance of the 2 but these findings are inconclusive.
"Confucious was a realist philosopher, you are a bull****er"
by Some guy named Dalsus October 9, 2006
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