Stinking toilet of the Midlands that Shakespeare once passed through on his way to London or something. Known by it's inhabitants as 'The vale of Evesham' to somehow bestow upon it an air of class. (FAIL).
The typical 'Evesham female' has a combination of webbed feet, a slight brummie accent, and poor personal hygiene. Their uglyness is a genetic flaw thought to result from centuries of in-breeding, beastiality and ingestion of Worcester Sauce. Easily tempted into sex for the price of roughly 3 pints of ale.
The elusive and seldom seen 'Evesham male' is a rare sight indeed. Often only seen in dole queues, pubs, or fishing on the banks of the river Avon... anywhere but actually working/contributing to society really. He is afflicted with severe retardation, equally poor hygiene and has (on average) the lowest IQ in Western Europe.
Of those aged 16–74 in Evesham, 57.5% had no academic qualifications or one General Certificate of Secondary Education (GCSE). This nugget of info came from the 2001 National Cencus (god bless the internets <3) and really brings to light the 'special' nature of this waste of fucking real-estate.
When told of his need to pass through Evesham on his way to London Shakespeare is reported to have exclaimed: "Evesham ya cunt? Can ye not go around the bastard?! I fuckin hate Eveshite me!" - And thus the name 'Eveshite' was born. A name the townsfolk have come to love and cherish for the past 400 years.
The typical 'Evesham female' has a combination of webbed feet, a slight brummie accent, and poor personal hygiene. Their uglyness is a genetic flaw thought to result from centuries of in-breeding, beastiality and ingestion of Worcester Sauce. Easily tempted into sex for the price of roughly 3 pints of ale.
The elusive and seldom seen 'Evesham male' is a rare sight indeed. Often only seen in dole queues, pubs, or fishing on the banks of the river Avon... anywhere but actually working/contributing to society really. He is afflicted with severe retardation, equally poor hygiene and has (on average) the lowest IQ in Western Europe.
Of those aged 16–74 in Evesham, 57.5% had no academic qualifications or one General Certificate of Secondary Education (GCSE). This nugget of info came from the 2001 National Cencus (god bless the internets <3) and really brings to light the 'special' nature of this waste of fucking real-estate.
When told of his need to pass through Evesham on his way to London Shakespeare is reported to have exclaimed: "Evesham ya cunt? Can ye not go around the bastard?! I fuckin hate Eveshite me!" - And thus the name 'Eveshite' was born. A name the townsfolk have come to love and cherish for the past 400 years.
Husband- "Honey, I'm booking us a smashing looking hotel in the West Midlands. Our 10th wedding anniversary will be an occasion to remember!"
Wife- "Whereabouts is that darling?"
Husband- "It says right here on the website 'Evesham'"
Wife- "I'm leaving you"
Evesham/Eveshite- 'The arsehole of the West Midlands'. British Tourism board 2011.
Q- "Would you like to accompany me to 'The vale of Evesham?' "
A- "Would you like to have your teeth punched down your fucking throat?"
Wife- "Whereabouts is that darling?"
Husband- "It says right here on the website 'Evesham'"
Wife- "I'm leaving you"
Evesham/Eveshite- 'The arsehole of the West Midlands'. British Tourism board 2011.
Q- "Would you like to accompany me to 'The vale of Evesham?' "
A- "Would you like to have your teeth punched down your fucking throat?"
by Sir William Pinch October 29, 2011
Get the Evesham mug.Eviee is a kind and caring girl. She is always organised and likes to get things done. She has lots of friends and likes to make people laugh. She will be one of the loudest friends you will ever have. She is gorgeous and beautiful in every way and attractive.
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A girl who may look small and not someone who could do a lot of damage but she who will kill you all. Possibly whilst riding a unicorn.
by tumblraddictdd June 9, 2011
Get the Evie mug.The most beautiful girl in the world usually can be found doing her favorite thing "texting her boyfriend" and is always great because he is around and he loves her so much
by evies best boyfriend February 5, 2017
Get the Evie mug.Evie is vintage loving girl , she doesn’t have many friends (5 at the most) she likes being alone in her room , watching 80’s movies , she is aesthetically pleasing and kind’ve Good at science. She can Play guitar but not very well. A few boys like Evie but she Rejects them all . She is unique and independent. She will never share secrets about herself and is often caught day dreaming . She is extremely insecure and how she looks . Her fashion sense is like 70’s/80’s (John from the breakfast club) . Her laugh is insane but her laugh makes you laugh. If you ever fall in love with an Evie , don’t text her all the time , she’s used being alone , but still let her know that you love her . She is an outcast and is really damn interesting♥️
by Samantha1023 June 29, 2019
Get the Evie mug.Evie is a very odd one, she is one that is always put in the middle of the fights, even if she sides with someone she won't tell them until after, she has a face covered in freckles and boys can't stop from turning there head to look at her, she is not afraid to swear and I probably will never find a better friend
I: Evie is a fine one
M: Yeah, Shes my girlfriend
I: No fair, I have liked her forever
M: Stay away from my girlfriend
I: -Punches M-
M: Yeah, Shes my girlfriend
I: No fair, I have liked her forever
M: Stay away from my girlfriend
I: -Punches M-
by Finga! September 2, 2018
Get the Evie mug.Evie is a cute and cheerful girl who will always cheer you up when you are down.She ‘s a total cheerleader and everybody likes her.She can be crazy sometimes but most of the time she’s under control.
by The devil herself 😈 October 23, 2019
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