douche canoe 

Someone too busy playing on their phone to pay attention to darts

Hey douche canoe! It's your turn!

douche canoe by mcsdarts October 21, 2014

Douche Canoe 

SOMEONE WHO RUNS A MOTORCYCLE WITHOUT OIL IN IT

DOUCHE CANOE RAN HIS BIKE WITHOUT OIL IN IT AGAIN THANK GOODNESS ITS A HONDA

Douche Canoe by MR GIGGLES654 March 4, 2017

Douche Canoe 

An expression used to describe someone who is extremely stupid and infuriating.

1. Molly: My boyfriend was pressuring me into sex last night.

Shannon: What a douche canoe!

2. Ethan: My mom is being a douche canoe, she won’t let me smoke pot in my room.

Douche Canoe by Thomanthan Bosley September 29, 2020

Douche Canoe 

The plexiglass enclosed area inside the Minnesota Vikings’ quarterback room where Kirk Cousins must isolate himself because he’s a giant idiot who refuses to get vaccinated.

I’ve done my own medical research and I’ve concluded that I’ll be safer inside my douche canoe versus simply getting vaccinated.

Douche Canoe by AntiEverythingFC August 5, 2021

Douche Canoe 

A giant douche bottle you ride like a horse in the water and squeeze your thighs to power it through the douche nozzle.

"I rode my douche canoe down the river and my thighs are so sore"

Douche Canoe by Douchewhisperer June 28, 2022

Douche Canoe 

A very stupid, annoying and mean person. Usually anonymous hate people on Tumblr, and have no life. They are silly and not needed in this world.

"Did you say you were getting anon hate on tumblr?" "Yeah, they're douche canoes."

Douche Canoe by AceCakeEater. September 30, 2012

Douche Canoe 

A hat worn by an abnormally large douche bag. Usually an Ed Hardy hat or an old man hat worn by anyone under the age of 60.

Look at all those assholes in their douche canoes.

Douche Canoe by First Mate Shrivelnuts September 11, 2009