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Crafting Table

The crafting table is a block from the mainstream game, Minecraft. Due to a incident in GeorgeNotFound's stream that their fans had found "interesting", it had been an on-going joke that "standing on a crafting table" means to give/receive a blowjob, or simply to have sexual intercourse.
Random person A: Hey, would you stand on a crafting table for me?

Random person B: Absolutely not, never say those words to me again.
by ilyapads October 17, 2020
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Teaching Crabs How To Read

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
by Lanse Grimez January 31, 2022
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Related Words
crackers crack head Craig crank crack crap crabs crazy cracked crackwhore

Mall Crawler

A Jeep Wrangler that is never taken mudding or off-roading. Essentially only bought for looks.
"How does she keep her Jeep so clean?"
"It's a mall crawler, she never takes it anywhere but the road"
by 999WRLD August 2, 2020
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dan and phil crafts

Pretty much just a demonic April fools joke they do every year starting in 2015. Their channel name is deceiving; their crafts are just some excuse to summon Satan. They have almost 1,000,000 subscribers; I feel bad for the people working at YouTube who have to give them the Golden Play Button.
Person one: Hey, do you know why every single YouTube video I go on has the comments, "Soft and Neat"?
Person two: Oh, just a channel called Dan and Phil Crafts where they summon Satan and stuff.
Person one: ...
by Miss.SoftAndNeatClique April 11, 2017
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A rule of the utmost priority for any outstanding gentleman/someone who wishes to not be murdered in their sleep.
Baz: I barely escaped with my life last night, this girl I used to sleep with came after me with a machete!
Gill: What did we tell you?
Baz: ...Don't stick your dick in crazy.
Gill: Don't stick your dick in crazy.
by sourceofinfinitewisdom November 5, 2013
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bag crackers

Crackers that you pack in your bag so that you have something to eat whilst unpacking your luggage.
Shit son; I'm damn near starving and jet lagged something chronic.

Should have remembered to pack my bag crackers.
by Almuemadan December 12, 2016
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crackhead hours

whenever you’re doing stupid, unexplainable shit, you’re definitely experiencing crackhead hours. often, they begin as a result of being sleep deprived or just being really fucking stupid

*Note: Crackhead hours experiences range from person to person and are often heightened by the presence of friends.
Crackhead hours hit hard last night- I was deadass swimming on the floor.
by ur b1tch October 24, 2019
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