Pastry-tipping

When you shove the decorative tip from a pastry bag up your ass so you can extrude decorative shit onto a cake or other surface. Any shape can be used (ie. round, star, ruffle, petals, etc) depending on your personal taste and style.

My boss is a douche so I went pastry-tipping on a cake that I sent him. I hope he likes chocolate.

by The Hebrew National February 17, 2023

pantie pastry

When a male masturbates and cums in a females panties, then hides and watches the victim put them on.

"Andrew gave Samantha a Pantie Pastry, then rejoiced at the sound of her screams as she pulled them on."

by WiJac01 September 18, 2017

Porcelain Pastry

when someone takes a mean dump, preferably at a bakery and forgets to flush on purpose. leaving the turds "pasteries" in there for the next unlucky users enjoyment.

i went to take a shit at the local bakery and as i opened the toilet seat i gawked at the porcelain pastry someone had left for me.

by BROSKIxSCALLOPS May 9, 2012

Put Pastry

Group chat for the boys

Did you see that chirp fest in Put Pastry last night?

by Biscuitandtheboys September 26, 2017

pastry fucker

A person who masturbates by sticking their dick in the hollow part of a donut.

Cop gave me a speeding ticket when I was only 5 mph over the limit! What a pastry fucker!

by mandi November 28, 2003

Pastry Lampard

Term used to describe a sausage roll, while acknowledging the English Footballer Frank Lampard Jnr. as overweight for a professional athelete.

Note: These would be called Lampard Rolls, but this is a homosexual sex act. Other sausage related products simply replace the word sausage with Lampard - such as 'Cocktail Lampards' and 'Lampard Cakes'

John: Have you got any more Pastry Lampards?

Terry: I have, but I've left them in the splaigen

by titan_po May 31, 2009

pastry chef

A sex act performed in the following manner:

1. Have sex with a condom on
2. Bust a nut inside the condom
3. Remove the condom
4. Bite a hole in the tip of the condom
5. Squeeze out the contents of the condom in a decorative pattern on your partner's face.

I had sex last night and gave her the pastry chef.

by NasteeVag March 29, 2009