Pastry packet

When one’s cock ejects Lard in a woman’s vag thus making her shortcake look like a pastry packet full of man jizz

Girl “ damn mark you packed my pastry packet full of cream”

by Gooterboy69 January 18, 2022

Porcelain Pastry

when someone takes a mean dump, preferably at a bakery and forgets to flush on purpose. leaving the turds "pasteries" in there for the next unlucky users enjoyment.

i went to take a shit at the local bakery and as i opened the toilet seat i gawked at the porcelain pastry someone had left for me.

by BROSKIxSCALLOPS May 9, 2012

Hidden pastry

A female that has multiple sexual partners in a day.

She’s an easy hidden pastry.

by Miss_q September 8, 2019

Put Pastry

Group chat for the boys

Did you see that chirp fest in Put Pastry last night?

by Biscuitandtheboys September 26, 2017

pastry fucker

A person who masturbates by sticking their dick in the hollow part of a donut.

Cop gave me a speeding ticket when I was only 5 mph over the limit! What a pastry fucker!

by mandi November 28, 2003

Pastry Lampard

Term used to describe a sausage roll, while acknowledging the English Footballer Frank Lampard Jnr. as overweight for a professional athelete.

Note: These would be called Lampard Rolls, but this is a homosexual sex act. Other sausage related products simply replace the word sausage with Lampard - such as 'Cocktail Lampards' and 'Lampard Cakes'

John: Have you got any more Pastry Lampards?

Terry: I have, but I've left them in the splaigen

by titan_po May 31, 2009

pastry chef

A sex act performed in the following manner:

1. Have sex with a condom on
2. Bust a nut inside the condom
3. Remove the condom
4. Bite a hole in the tip of the condom
5. Squeeze out the contents of the condom in a decorative pattern on your partner's face.

I had sex last night and gave her the pastry chef.

by NasteeVag March 29, 2009