Speed lotioning

The act of putting on lotion while driving down the road. Therefore, as quickly as possible and switching hands on the steeringwheel, you are lotioning at a very high rate of speed to keep from crashing into oncoming traffic.

Holly found herself Speed lotioning' on the way to work because she was already running late.

by 12guage77 December 16, 2009

Emotion Lotion

When you begin to cry and then use your tears as lubrication for masturbation.

Dude, after I found out she was cheating I broke down crying and then began to use my tears as "emotion lotion".

by Sgpro2019 July 08, 2020

Lotion Basket

Male Masturbation Technique.

The man tucks his penis and testicles between his legs, performing the fruit basket or the Buffalo Bill Tuck, and jerks off by repeatedly pushing the penis backwards and then letting it release back forward until reaching orgasm (putting the lotion in the basket). This act may be performed standing (the Transgender Soldier) or laying down (Jelly Side Up or Jelly Side Down).

See also: Fingerwank, Mangina, Manjina, and Steve Irwank.

"My inner thighs are really chafed right now because I've been really bored and the only way I jack off is by doing the Lotion Basket."

by Sheltered and Homeschooled July 31, 2017

lotion fight

When you and your buddies with small tic tac dicks jerk each other off and explode all over each other

Billy’s mom FaceTimes him with his buddies and goes “oh you boys, always having your lotion fights. Be careful not to get it in your eyes when you try to wipe it off.”

by BRM22 February 01, 2020

emergency lotion

The stash of small lotion samples taken from hotels that you turn to when you run out of your trusty old Jergens.

I was about to rub one off last night and I was out of Jergens... thank god for my emergency lotion

by hprocks July 05, 2014

sandwich lotion

More colorful term for boring, disgusting mayonnaise. So-called because it acts as a lubricant for deli meats, basting them in a nasty coating similar to lotion.

"Dude, this sub is pretty good but it's a little dry. Pass me the sandwich lotion, yo!"

by Kaiserdriver December 18, 2014

lotion clot

The semi hardened bit of lotion that clogs up the opening of the tube or pump. For example "I haven't used this lotion in a while. I gotta get rid of this nasty lotion clot first."

This pump has a lotion clot. Can you hand me a tissue, please?

by mittybunny November 17, 2014