Vestal Masturbation

One of the most notorious heavy metal t shirts in history, Cradle of Filth's "Vestal Masturbation" depicts a nude nun pleasuring herself on the front, with the phrase "Jesus Is A Cunt" written in large letters on the back.

His parents were outraged to find out that he had been kicked out of school for wearing his Vestal Masturbation t shirt.

by LemmyForever December 19, 2021

mind-masturbating

To mind-fuck oneself, often in succession; lubrication offered by drugs, alcohol, etc.

I'm mind masturbating to string theory right now.

John's Girlfriend: "Hey, want to come over?"
John: "Hold on a second, I'm finishing up mind-masturbating to Stephen Hawking talking about quantum physics and the theory of multiverses. Oh yeah, oh yeah..."
John's Girlfriend: "Oh."

by TH3 BL4NK October 6, 2012

email masturbate

The act of sending yourself an email.

Can I use your computer to email masturbate? I need to remind myself of something for tomorrow.

by fbunky November 14, 2013

mobile masturbating

When you masturbate in a moving vehicle, may be done as either driver or passenger

Hanging out with my friends got me so horny I did a little mobile masturbating on the way home to relieve myself.

by Tonksalot September 14, 2018

status masturbation

When you get off on liking your own post on social media!

My status masturbation is on point!

by Polemuncher May 14, 2016

Lazy Masturbation

The act of resting your hands in your pants and holding your genitals or butt, usually absentmindedly. It is usually mildly pleasurable, but is not done to get off.

"Woah, why do you have your hand in your pants?"
"I was just bored and starting doing some lazy masturbation."

by JaxMP August 8, 2018

tation masturbation

when the warzone rotational aim assist is so stronk that they can use their right hand for some unsavory purposes while they operate the left stick to aim AND move at the same time

damn i just died to this guy while he pulled 1-handed tation masturbation

by brysonnn November 28, 2022