Largest epic failure of the Windows operating system, with more viruses, visual glitches, and annoying questions to drive any user out of their mind, built to be used for one day then wiped off the hard drive, being replaced by XP, MAC or Linux OS
by Admiral' Awesome May 09, 2009
In the 1997 movie Titanic, when Leonardo DiCaprio is nailing Kate Winslet in the car, she reaches out with her hot, sweaty hand towards the window as if to grope it during the height of her sexual pleasure experiance.
Tom: Dude, I was slamming Kandi last night. She is a total window grabber. I made her clean all the windows in my car.
Dick: Dude, what a bitch.
Dick: Dude, what a bitch.
by Rodger McButtrape December 11, 2006
The next Windows OS that will succeed XP as the most powerful, innovative and secure OS Microsoft have ever released... or in non-bullshit terms, powerful because it will require astronomical hardware requirements for all the extra bloat, by innovative they assume that you have never heard of this thing called Mac OS X which they have shamelessly ripped off and by secure they mean for the first nanosecond it is released before it is picked apart by hackers and crackers.
It will feature several exclusive products which are only available because of it's unique and advanced features... or again in plain English - M$ have intentionally crippled their stuff to only work on this OS and thus alienating their own users. No wait, sorry, this is an *incentive* to upgrade!
Last but not least it is a huge DRM update, supporting crap like TPM (Trusted Platform Module) and HDCP where even if you are legit but didn't fork over the dough for a HDCP compliant graphics card, CD drive and monitor you'll get no movie. Hey, that's a nice 32" widescreen plasma display you have there... wait, no HDCP? No movie for you chump! Oh, did I forget to mention that it will also have a "black box" feature? But don't worry, it's only for collecting data for quality feedback to make the next product even better - would they lie to you?
It will feature several exclusive products which are only available because of it's unique and advanced features... or again in plain English - M$ have intentionally crippled their stuff to only work on this OS and thus alienating their own users. No wait, sorry, this is an *incentive* to upgrade!
Last but not least it is a huge DRM update, supporting crap like TPM (Trusted Platform Module) and HDCP where even if you are legit but didn't fork over the dough for a HDCP compliant graphics card, CD drive and monitor you'll get no movie. Hey, that's a nice 32" widescreen plasma display you have there... wait, no HDCP? No movie for you chump! Oh, did I forget to mention that it will also have a "black box" feature? But don't worry, it's only for collecting data for quality feedback to make the next product even better - would they lie to you?
Hasta la Vista baby!
User: I just upgradede to Windows Vista! I love it's new features! They're awesome!
Linux/Mac user: Duh...
M$/RIAA/MPAA/FBI: Yes, it has some very nice features indeed.
User: I just upgradede to Windows Vista! I love it's new features! They're awesome!
Linux/Mac user: Duh...
M$/RIAA/MPAA/FBI: Yes, it has some very nice features indeed.
by generic December 21, 2006
The biggest piece of shit in the toilet otherwise known as Microsoft operating systems. It's a magnet for malware, spyware, viruses, etc. A computer running Vista (or Windoze Visuck, as I like to call it) will constantly freeze, crash and do other weird shit that other operating systems don't do.
Oh, and it comes with a lot of bloatware and other stuff you'll never use.
Oh, and it comes with a lot of bloatware and other stuff you'll never use.
Windows user: Hey, have you tried Windows Vista yet? It's like, totally awesome and so much cheaper than a Mac!!!!
Mac user: I have, and it's SHIT! I don't care if Macs are expensive, you don't have to worry about viruses, bloatware and all the other crap that comes with Vista!
*coughgetamaccough*
Mac user: I have, and it's SHIT! I don't care if Macs are expensive, you don't have to worry about viruses, bloatware and all the other crap that comes with Vista!
*coughgetamaccough*
by glittery~ June 19, 2011
A decent OS with the most versatility of all OSes. Seriously. This thing can run just about any program and/or application.
Let's go on to debunking common misconceptions about Windows...
1. "Windows crashes like every 5 seconds!!1!1OMG another blue screen!"
While Windows does crash, the amount of times it does and how often is usually dependent on many other factors, those factors involving how much people actually take care of their computers.
Since most people don't know how to simple things like defragment their hard drives every once in awhile, and not open every e-mail attachment they get, it's no wonder people have their computers crash all the time.
Out of the approximate 8 years that I've been using a computer running Windows, I have only gotten the BSoD twice. Twice. And they were both due to me running too many applications over night, anyway. Thank God it did too. I probably would've fried my HDD from the constant strain I was stupidly putting on the CPU.
Take care of your computer, and you don't get crashes. Simple as that.
2 "I'm always getting viruses!!11! Windows always gets viruses!11!! You need to have antivirus stuff!!!!1111!1one1"
Two things:
Common sense (don't download and open every .exe application you see, you dolt. One of the many things people do.)
Windows has a majority of the market share, making it a prime target for malware writers.
Done.
3. "Windows security is a joke! So it's so easy to hack!!11!"
Only here will I give you compensation. Yes, Windows security is pretty bad.
But guess what? An IT tech friend of mine said that a Macintosh would take about a few minutes to hack into, and Linux would take about the same amount of time.
I bet no one ever considered the security of alternate operating systems besides Windows, because they're all pretty bad by themselves.
He even showed me how. And this friend is certified in computer security, so he would know. Stop listening to all that propaganda, people.
Let's go on to debunking common misconceptions about Windows...
1. "Windows crashes like every 5 seconds!!1!1OMG another blue screen!"
While Windows does crash, the amount of times it does and how often is usually dependent on many other factors, those factors involving how much people actually take care of their computers.
Since most people don't know how to simple things like defragment their hard drives every once in awhile, and not open every e-mail attachment they get, it's no wonder people have their computers crash all the time.
Out of the approximate 8 years that I've been using a computer running Windows, I have only gotten the BSoD twice. Twice. And they were both due to me running too many applications over night, anyway. Thank God it did too. I probably would've fried my HDD from the constant strain I was stupidly putting on the CPU.
Take care of your computer, and you don't get crashes. Simple as that.
2 "I'm always getting viruses!!11! Windows always gets viruses!11!! You need to have antivirus stuff!!!!1111!1one1"
Two things:
Common sense (don't download and open every .exe application you see, you dolt. One of the many things people do.)
Windows has a majority of the market share, making it a prime target for malware writers.
Done.
3. "Windows security is a joke! So it's so easy to hack!!11!"
Only here will I give you compensation. Yes, Windows security is pretty bad.
But guess what? An IT tech friend of mine said that a Macintosh would take about a few minutes to hack into, and Linux would take about the same amount of time.
I bet no one ever considered the security of alternate operating systems besides Windows, because they're all pretty bad by themselves.
He even showed me how. And this friend is certified in computer security, so he would know. Stop listening to all that propaganda, people.
I'd love to do more, but I'd spend hours trying to pin point everything.
Microsoft Windows: use it right, and it won't fail you. I'm perfectly fine with the XP OS I've been running for quite some time. It has slowed down a bit from age, but I have never even defragged the hard drive due to memory constraints.
Microsoft Windows: use it right, and it won't fail you. I'm perfectly fine with the XP OS I've been running for quite some time. It has slowed down a bit from age, but I have never even defragged the hard drive due to memory constraints.
by Mr. Sacman August 15, 2009
Windows FP (aka: Windows Fisher Price), is the successor to Windows 2000.
Also known as 'Windows XP'. This was the last stand of a dying corporation to save itself, from itself. The interface was designed by the team who delivered the Apple Macintosh almost twenty years earlier, but is neither as stable, nor as easy to use.
Windows FP was seen by many as an attempt to make the Windows OS more Mac-like. However, with a GUI incapable of smooth transitions, the results appear more like melted-candy corn than the inimitable Mac OS X that it tries so hard to be.
Visual cues apparently have been taken from the local kindergarden. Everything is either big, lurid, or unnecessary (sometimes all three). Plagued with problems throughout, it's party-piece was it's ability to crash all by itself.
Also known as 'Windows XP'. This was the last stand of a dying corporation to save itself, from itself. The interface was designed by the team who delivered the Apple Macintosh almost twenty years earlier, but is neither as stable, nor as easy to use.
Windows FP was seen by many as an attempt to make the Windows OS more Mac-like. However, with a GUI incapable of smooth transitions, the results appear more like melted-candy corn than the inimitable Mac OS X that it tries so hard to be.
Visual cues apparently have been taken from the local kindergarden. Everything is either big, lurid, or unnecessary (sometimes all three). Plagued with problems throughout, it's party-piece was it's ability to crash all by itself.
by little-miss can't do wrong March 03, 2007
An activity that envolves throwing bouncy balls or tiny pieces of uncooked meat at the second story window of an attractive girls home. Most common in warm climate areas such as California, Florida, and Texas. Infamous in Chicago, Illinois though.
Adam Levine decided to go Window Dopping on Martha's house last night. When a piece of sirloin stuck to her window, she didn't even know what hit her.
by Other Vincent Bondage October 17, 2006