jar of mayonnaise

A usually bald Caucasian man whose personality is as bland and congealed as his condiment counterpart. Can be found mansplaining “logic” on Facebook or complaining about cancel culture while quoting Joe Rogan. Feels personally attacked by diversity and pronouns.

Often seen wearing wraparound sunglasses, quoting Jordan Peterson, and blaming women or immigrants for his own mediocrity.

“Yo check out that jar of mayonnaise wearing a neck gaiter and trying to find hard working immigrants to abduct.”

by chicagocowgirl777 October 21, 2025

Rub it on like a jar of mayonnaise

lather each other (you and your partner) up in mayonnaise and spank each other while engaging in amazing sex

Person 1: Hey, I wanna try something new today..
Person 2: What did you have in mind??
Person 1: I wanted to try Rub it on like a jar of mayonnaise today..
Person 2: I'll get the mayonnaise!

by MAYONNAISE RUBBER 69 June 11, 2018

Dip the carrot in the mayonnaise

An alternative way to discreetly refer to sex. In close resemblance with phrases such as "bury the bone".

Man- "Hey there baby, how about you come on over to my house and we can dip the carrot in the mayonnaise".
Woman- Nigga what

by EricShun808 March 16, 2021

moonso of gloggy bon fized moycon deft b lopa

A phrase written hastily on a piece of plywood, the floor of a hastily constructed drainage pipe house. My friend asked me to read the phrase. I did and it was awesome, and we used it for the next 10 years, mainly to confuse people, as we would randomly say the phrase in conversation. Shortly after the day it was written, my friend "translated" the phrase. The only word I now recall was "moycon" it translated as "marihuana"

Me: moonso of gloggy bon fized moycon deft b lopa. You: LOL Yeah man, I dig it.

by anonymous November 9, 2021