Skip to main content

analogue wank

Having to revert to the more traditional methods of masturbation by using "old skool" materials such as books, magazines and rude drawings.
My fucking internet isn't getting connected for another fortnight! I'm gonna have to settle for an analogue wank tonight instead of YouJizz!
by darkh0rse July 2, 2011
mugGet the analogue wank mug.

Fuck Wank

A person who cannot be described solely as a fucker or a wanker and instead is referred to as a fuck wank.
by Oxford warrior August 26, 2011
mugGet the Fuck Wank mug.

extreme wanking

The art of masturbating till near climax. Whereabouts you shout: "Hey mum come here a minute!". You then have the time it take till you mum arrives to finish jacking off and get cleaned up.
by Alex and Rob February 18, 2003
mugGet the extreme wanking mug.

Code Wank

code /ko?d/ kohd noun, verb, cod·ed, cod·ing.
wank /wæ?k/ wangk Chiefly British Slang: Vulgar

Creating code that does not relate to the core purpose of a project. Basically wanking around with peripheral tasks

- source. Dave Fleming
"Lets avoid wasting time with any code wank on this project"
by bluemedia October 22, 2007
mugGet the Code Wank mug.

Chain wanking

Similar to chain smoking except it is having one wank after another, usually practised by teenage boys with internet access in their bedroom
A mother will shout up the stairs to her son "get up it is 2pm" and the boys father will tell her "leave the boy alone, he is chain wanking"
by Kendo Bazoo November 14, 2009
mugGet the Chain wanking mug.

Blitz-Wank

Noun: blitz-wank - a wank that should never exceed more than roughly one minute. Any longer than that and it can no longer be classed as a B.W.

Verb: to blitz-wank - the act of furiously masturbating so as to achieve and orgasm in a very particular time constraint.

For the gentleman who just needs to get something out of his system in a record breaking time.
A day at the office-
Bob: Fml, this work is really getting me down. No wonder the statistics of office suicides are so high lately.
Pete: Just go into the supplies cupboard and rub out a BW my friend.
Bob: BW?
Pete: Blitz-wank! It's where you choke the life out of your chicken until it sqwarks in around a minute.
*after a brief blitz-wanking session bob returns to his desk and completes all of his assignments to an exceptional standard*
Bob: Remember kids, if it weren't for BWs, I wouldn't be where I am today.
by Russian Roller November 28, 2010
mugGet the Blitz-Wank mug.

Wank monkey

A person that is socially inept and yet full of themselves.

Someone whose only source of conversation is themselves and the things they get up to.

The word derives from the common word for masturbation and monkey, the animal that uses aggressive displays to prove their social status.
It occurred to me as I heard about Nikki's time as a stripper that she was a huge wank monkey.
by Alan-O September 26, 2007
mugGet the Wank monkey mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email