Jared

That attention-seeking, annoying guy that dramatically reacts to everything with emphasis

You: *gently touches his shoulder*

Jared: *throws himself against a wall* OOWHWHGHHH WHY WOULD YOU PUSH ME?????? WAAGAGAHHHJJJ

by phroggg November 27, 2025

Jared

Jared is a weeb, who loves emo’s and e-girls. A chronic vape addict whom spends all his money on league. hetero man who makes you feel like you’re the boss

Jared likes being stepped on

by Chronicle Editor February 6, 2025

jared padalecki

my beautiful gorgeous delicious sweet amazing(did i mention beautiful?) wife. jared padalecki is the most gorgeous man on earth n honestly should be the president of our country. he has been gorgeous since the 1990s, his specific peak(controversially) being the 2010s. hes been in many goated movies(may i include house of wax?) including friday the 13th the 2009 remaster(where his moobs were outrageously huge), supernatural(where he had luscious hair), and gilmore girls(where he was an extremely sexy jerk). i could write an entire paragraph on this man. he is so incredibly amazingly amazing amazing amazing it never fails to fly over my head. literally the most delicious man ever. extremely bitable and uh.. may i say extremely arousing. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN EVER. if u don’t agree then you are not the brightest in the bunch.

girl: “bazinga!! jared padaleckis man boobs are huge in this movie, lawd have mercy..”

(straight) boy: “biyaaaatch.. imma straight male but giirl u right, he could tots get it.”

—

random: “have u watched supernatural? season 5 sam makes me wanna combust, dear god.”

another random: “yeah, seeing him made me bust in my pants.”

by eatsjaredpadaleckischewedgum February 24, 2025

Jared’s girlfriend

Jared girlfriend is a fucking weirdo nobody likes her except sometimes Jared. And she looks like shreck or something. Happy Pancake Tuesday

Is that Jared’s girlfriend
Yeah can she fuck off

by J123345 March 4, 2025

Jared’s girlfriend

Jared’s girlfriend is a fucking weirdo. She looks like shrek or something and absolutely nobody likes them. She smells really bad and everyone talks about it behind her back. Jared feels bad but he kind of likes it

Is that Jared’s girlfriend

Oh fuck yeah it is hide. Can she just fuck off

by J123345 March 4, 2025

I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024

Jared's Ears

Jared's Ears Is a genetical condition in which somebodies ears are literally ginormous. Some mistake a person with Jared's ears to be a bird or other flying specimen. Jared's ears is normally identified at birth because the ginormous ears are incredibly big at birth, and therefore make labor incredibly hard. Jared's ears only has one cure which is to cut the ears off, or trim them with a rotary sander.

Is that a bird dog, nah its a plane.

Shit. Nevermind, it's just a guy with Jared's ears

by Christophlak June 18, 2024