Noodle Texting

Texting while noodle grooving

Damn look at that noodle texter.....

What the fuck is that dude doing over there humping the air while texting He's not humping the air He's noodle texting.....

by Puddle guts October 8, 2023

Cross Texting

The act of texting someone on multiple social media sites in the same moment. Leaving them confused or irritated most of the time.

Billy: Yo, why the hell did you text me on snap, instagram and facebook all at the same time? We just got done texting on insta.

Jimothy: Sorry for the Cross Texting. I thought I could get your attention by that quicker.

Example 2:
*George has a conversation with Walter on snapchat, as soon as they stop talking, George sends Walter memes on Instagram, George checks facebook and sees messages from Walter from over an hour ago, deciding to answer him there now.*

Walter: Can you stop Cross Texting me all the damn time!

George: Sorry, I do it religiously.

by v1ruzes December 9, 2023

Double texting

Being ignored on more than one occasion. Telling bad jokes etc.

Kha: Excuse, Yo can I get your number ?
Mir: she don’t want you bro double texting at this point

by Idkmyname1 April 20, 2024

Authenticity Testing

Implying that someone's position on an issue or activism and volunteering is not because of a genuine held belief or passion around the issue but because they want something else like coochie or validation. People who authenticity test are usually just bad people and accuse others of being fake because they have a hard time living their values without external incentive, so they assume that others are the same way.

This can also take the form of someone saying: you're not gay enough or you're not black enough to have a certain opinion.

Guy 1: You care about period pad scarcity as a man, you're such a male pick me.

Guy 2: I used to live in a third world country - I know people that have died due to lack of menstrual care.

Guy 1: Yeah I bet that line goes hard with women.

Guy 2: You know just because you're a cynical ass that would only care about issues outside of yourself for validation doesn't mean that others are the same way. Your authenticity testing is really fucked and shows that you lack the ability to show anyone love and care if it doesn't lead you to some clout or coochie.

by Freud's Evil Cousin June 8, 2024

tile texting

when you mostly text another individual from the bathroom for whatever reason. a many bathrooms have tiles. usually a close friend but can also be someone you are texting in secret.

I am convinced my boyfriend is tile texting some girl. in the bathroom for hours with his phone.

by tardilady March 4, 2025

Touch-texting

A system similar to 'touch-typing' but for phones, where you use one hand to type, and each finger only presses certain keys based on the layout of the keypad. Can be adapted for right-handed or left-handed people.

Me: Aaargghh, my thumbs are so big I can't use them to text! So annoying to do the single-finger-poke all the time...

Laura: Hey, there's a new thing called 'Touch-texting', you should try it.

Me: Huh?

Laura: You use one hand the same as touch-typing. It's insanely brilliant!

Me: Wow. will try it.

Laura: Let your fingers to the talking!

by bill cauliflower February 12, 2026

DNA Testing

DNA Testing was created in the 1980s, DNA testing began with the development of DNA fingerprinting by Dr. Alec Jeffreys, which allowed for the identification and comparison of individual DNA profiles, significantly impacting forensic science and paternity testing. The restriction fragment length polymorphism (RFLP) technique was introduced during this time, marking the first genetic test using DNA. Additionally, the first notable instance of DNA testing for genetic linkage analysis occurred in the U.S. in the mid-1980s, laying the groundwork for modern DNA testing practices. You spit in a tube, send it to a lab, and six weeks later your results come back saying you're 25% Nigerian, 13% Scottish, 7% Indigenous American, and the rest… a mystery soup. You feel excited. Maybe confused. Maybe even validated. But hold on. That DNA test might help you find your relatives, but it's not your cultural passport and it's certainly not the final word on who you are. Analogy 1: DNA for Relatives = GPS Coordinates. DNA for Ethnicity = Weather Forecast When you use a DNA test to find relatives, you're using exact coordinates of measurable genetic markers passed from one generation to the next, like a GPS signal. When you use DNA to predict your ethnicity, it's more like forecasting the weather. There's probability, pattern recognition, and a lot of assumptions about what "Scottish DNA" or " American Indian DNA" even looks like.

DNA Testing for Family: Think of your DNA like a chain of puzzle pieces. You inherit 50% from each parent, 25% from each grandparent, and so on. These patterns follow predictable rules — and science has mastered the math. Full siblings share ~50% DNA. First cousins: ~12.5%. A paternity test? Over 99.99% accurate. Companies like 23andMe or AncestryDNA can scan your genome and match you with people who share long identical segments. Those segments don’t lie.🔍 Example: If you and someone else share 3,500 cM (centiMorgans), the science says you’re parent/child or full siblings. That’s not guesswork, it's biology. 🌍 DNA for Ethnicity: Why It Fails Now switch gears. You ask: “Where am I from?” The problem? That question is social, historical, and often political, not purely biological.

by Stargazer1411 October 18, 2025