Jesus-ey

The act of being kind, caring, benevolent
Clarie: "Sheila, your new jeans make your ass look fat!!"

Shelia: "Geez Clarie, that was not a very Jesus-ey thing to say...You bitch!"
by Lt 50 December 02, 2009
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jesus seam

The Jesus seam is the vertical hemispherical ridge across a man's testicles implying this is where God welded or stitched him together.
I got kicked right in the balls so hard I thought I split my Jesus seam.
by Sicrowell May 04, 2016
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Conversational Jesus

A person with the ability to turn a conversation about water into a conversation about wine.
A: After my work-out i was really thirsty, i would have killed for some water.
B: Then why didn't you just un-cork a good bottle?
A: Un-cork? .... are you talking about wine again?
B: Of course, what else?
A: Man, you'r a true Conversational Jesus!..
by Darkwing Warming April 01, 2011
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khaki jesus

Khaki Jesus aka Steve Irwin. He is the only person to rock a pair of generic khakis
Friend 1: have you ever heard of Steve Irwin

Friend 2: do you mean khaki Jesus
by Gopackmc September 29, 2020
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australian jesus

Australian Jesus is a white guy with long hair who heads his own cult in the Australian outback. He appeals to monied persons, and ignores the poor. He convinces them to leave their families, show up in Australia (if they're foreigners), and place their monies in the palm. Then, he puts them into a heightened emotional state that makes them cry. If you wish to abandon all that is good and true in life, and then cry, then you are encouraged to seek out the cult of Australian Jesus.
Example for Australian Jesus:

"You don't believe in Jesus!?"
"No, of course I believe in Him. He's that one fella in Australia."
by James Headfield March 10, 2020
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Jesus rail

n.

The passenger hand rail above the car window. Used by people who can't drive, those who prefer to be in control, or frightened mothers.
(in car, Driver accelerates)

Passenger: Jesus! (holding onto car hand rail for dear life)
Driver: You don't have to hold onto the Jesus rail, I'm doing the speed limit!

Passenger: (holding onto car hand rail, eyes closed)
Driver: Stop holding the Jesus rail, I'm not trying to kill you!

etc.
by SilverGirl78 March 23, 2011
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Jesus in a lightbulb

The thing that appears above your head when you think to yourself, either silently or out loud, "WWJD?"

When you suddenly have a thought of remorse or guilt, the moment the lighbulb appears above your head, (only this time with a vision of Jesus in it with his hands held out and that puppy-dog look in his eyes...) that makes you stop and rethink your actions and the repercussions of those actions.
Dude: "Hmmm... I probably shouldn't have pocketed that $20 that just fell outta that lil' ol' lady's purse...."

(Result: Jesus appears in a lightbulb above wrong-doer's head).
by munchkin'smom July 24, 2011
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