Jared

The most Jared thing a Jared could ever do is be named Jared. They are constantly taking bathroom breaks each one longer then the last. They are experts in the arts of PC building and take pride in the fact that they know how to build a Lego or two (thanks to an engineering background). Expect them to talk about their Linus Tech Tips water bottle every now and then. That is just the Jared way.

Wow, is that guy who built is own PC out of nothing but dirt and grass? He's such a Jared!

by wordsarentreal78 April 12, 2022

Jared's Fingers

The most gracious fingers known to man, known to make any man or woman bust upon sight. These fingers have fueled entire societal movements, and are some of the most significant fingers in history.

Nick: I think I'm going to hell
Saul: touch'a'my Jared's Fingers.
Nick: *ascends*

by No_Name_Bob December 19, 2022

Jared Leto

To kill a franchise

It was doing so well but they Jared Leto'd it.

by Zed524632 October 14, 2025

Taking a Jared

A 10-12 minute break consisting of a red bull and a cigarette.

“Hey did Joe fax that report over to corporate?”

“I’ll ask him when he comes back. He’s taking a Jared”

by 3little3series November 5, 2020

Jared

The worst guy you’ll ever meet. He will break your heart if you ever fall in love with him. He’s rude as fuck so stay away from him

Jared is an asshole

by Jared’s ex September 3, 2019

Jared Parks

tall skinny kid with a broken back who acts tougher on text than in person. He will threaten to beat you up on text but will slap you on the cheek and say he beat the shit outta you.

"Stop being a Jared Parks and say that to my face."

by Mark Sanito December 10, 2019

jared puga

a common name amongst latino homosexuals who enjoy having their poop shoot “tongue punched!”

June is my friend Jared Pugas favorite month, because of all of the silly made up holidays in that month. That same friend also goes to epstein island for a visit wit the best tongue puncher in the land.

by SillyBoyArDee July 25, 2023