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Jared Emery

by kdmatters:) November 14, 2020
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Jared

jared is the most amazing person in the world. although he would say somethings that are a bit perverted but is actually hilarious because he does it to make people laugh. you will be very lucky to meet or be around Jared mostly because he makes people left and is very loved by others. everywoman is dying to be around him but are very shy to show emotion in anyway.
Jared is a sexy ass beast
by hmahma June 28, 2017
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Jared

This person will make you feel the lightest you’ve ever felt ever! Like a skinny skinny feather. Jared’s are unapologetic and charming with a fantastical sense of humor. He cherishes his friends and treats them like absolute guido/guidette royalty! Obsessed with gorillas and getting sticky and shaking ass.
Jared can simply whip the piss.
by Definedinmylanguage February 2, 2022
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Jared's Ears

Most ticklish ginormous, and gargantious motherfuckers on this planet, in the solar system, in our galaxy, in our milkyway, and especially, on this side of the Mississippi. These existing figures that we call ears are the biggest most pergananant beings on the face of the same planet i breathe on
Man I got a real Jared's Ears on my balls
by Christophlak March 30, 2024
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Jared

Jared is always the name of a doomsday cult leader. Jared is, contrary to most cult leaders, a snivelling goblin man, who has somehow amassed a large following. He is usually accompanied by 2-3 bodyguards carrying weapons of some kind - in some cases, Jared will needlessly kill one of the bodyguards for some fucking reason.

In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.
"It is I, Jared, the exalted leader of the Order of The Sun."
"..."
"Fucking Jared."
by piss boy jr February 19, 2022
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Jared Hill

The most fattest bussy you will ever see, makes you cream when he walks in the room, and you will never be able to fall out of love with him.
by CrowningDickhead August 23, 2022
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Jared

He is a cute, smart, and sporty guy. He will end up breaking your heart by not talking to you anymore. He will just ask your friends for nudes and then when you ask them if they ever sent nudes, they say they have never and then when you look at the messages you want to confront them but you don't. It's like when he stops talking to you, right away your friend runs to him like bitch are you jealous or what like what are you jealous go get your own and leave us alone. Like you get jealous when were together and then it's like you trying to get me jealous by getting with him like go fuck yourself and let me live my own life.
Jared is a cute guy.
by rose_love131897236 August 4, 2019
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