by Poopy but November 07, 2020
Your going to die if you mess with this dude he is literally going to kill you. He has a M60, a suicide vest, and a fucking tank. But here's a twist he cant motherfucking die.
by oofman3 November 18, 2018
A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
by taserbrain February 12, 2010
by skee__t January 05, 2019
by FART KING AND THE GASSY MINION March 29, 2009
by chiphead.net March 30, 2009
a phrase used when other euphemisms just won't do.
I suggest you don't wet the monkey when your mother's in the room.
That movie tried too hard to wet the monkey; it just looked painful.
That movie tried too hard to wet the monkey; it just looked painful.
by Bishopk March 05, 2009