-I can't believe you pregamed alone last night, you're such a loser.
-Bro, I was drinking with Jesus.
-Bro, I was drinking with Jesus.
by yeeserious October 20, 2005
Jesus Land loves you!
by JohnJohn1186 November 10, 2004
The two conservative candidates didn't even talk about the important issues in their campaign ads, they just kept trying to out-Jesus each other.
by thatguy@31 May 27, 2006
1. a simp for Jesus, very Catholic maybe too much. Probably very overbearing to talk to.
2. If you have such a fetish, why and please consider seeing a psychiatrist, you sick fuck.
2. If you have such a fetish, why and please consider seeing a psychiatrist, you sick fuck.
Son: Father, I think I've developed a fetish for our only Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Father: It's great to hear that you have faith in God no-, Wait what?
Son: A Jesus fetish, Father!
Father: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck out of my house, you're not my son anymore I'm disowning you.
Father: It's great to hear that you have faith in God no-, Wait what?
Son: A Jesus fetish, Father!
Father: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck out of my house, you're not my son anymore I'm disowning you.
by Kazariiiiiiiiiiii-chan July 03, 2022
n.
The passenger hand rail above the car window. Used by people who can't drive, those who prefer to be in control, or frightened mothers.
The passenger hand rail above the car window. Used by people who can't drive, those who prefer to be in control, or frightened mothers.
(in car, Driver accelerates)
Passenger: Jesus! (holding onto car hand rail for dear life)
Driver: You don't have to hold onto the Jesus rail, I'm doing the speed limit!
Passenger: (holding onto car hand rail, eyes closed)
Driver: Stop holding the Jesus rail, I'm not trying to kill you!
etc.
Passenger: Jesus! (holding onto car hand rail for dear life)
Driver: You don't have to hold onto the Jesus rail, I'm doing the speed limit!
Passenger: (holding onto car hand rail, eyes closed)
Driver: Stop holding the Jesus rail, I'm not trying to kill you!
etc.
by SilverGirl78 March 23, 2011
Australian Jesus is a white guy with long hair who heads his own cult in the Australian outback. He appeals to monied persons, and ignores the poor. He convinces them to leave their families, show up in Australia (if they're foreigners), and place their monies in the palm. Then, he puts them into a heightened emotional state that makes them cry. If you wish to abandon all that is good and true in life, and then cry, then you are encouraged to seek out the cult of Australian Jesus.
Example for Australian Jesus:
"You don't believe in Jesus!?"
"No, of course I believe in Him. He's that one fella in Australia."
"You don't believe in Jesus!?"
"No, of course I believe in Him. He's that one fella in Australia."
by James Headfield March 10, 2020
The thing that appears above your head when you think to yourself, either silently or out loud, "WWJD?"
When you suddenly have a thought of remorse or guilt, the moment the lighbulb appears above your head, (only this time with a vision of Jesus in it with his hands held out and that puppy-dog look in his eyes...) that makes you stop and rethink your actions and the repercussions of those actions.
When you suddenly have a thought of remorse or guilt, the moment the lighbulb appears above your head, (only this time with a vision of Jesus in it with his hands held out and that puppy-dog look in his eyes...) that makes you stop and rethink your actions and the repercussions of those actions.
Dude: "Hmmm... I probably shouldn't have pocketed that $20 that just fell outta that lil' ol' lady's purse...."
(Result: Jesus appears in a lightbulb above wrong-doer's head).
(Result: Jesus appears in a lightbulb above wrong-doer's head).
by munchkin'smom July 24, 2011