closet flogger

Someone who masturbates in a closet.
Or someone who does not admit to the occaisional knuckle shuffle on his piss pump.

Todd told me he never walks his dog, I think he is a closet flogger!

by Scott D. Putnam October 17, 2004

closeteer

One who acts gay, dresses gay, and/or engages in any type of obvious faggotry or blatant homosexuality but frustratingly will not come out of the closet. The opposite of a slysexual.

I swear I literally overheard Sean and his girlfriends talking about their girls night out last weekend" and he STILL says hes not gay. what a closeteer!

by TyCoLicious January 23, 2011

coffee is for closers only

you don’t rest until you close the deal

"Hey, where are you going? Coffee is for closers only. You should finish your shift"

by Seedosan May 19, 2014

closet horny

Somebody who appears to be normal or even conservative when it comes to sexual matters but on the inside they are burning with sexual desire.

Turns out my bando friend ryan was closet horny, I found tons of porn on his computer, who'da thunk? He always seemed grossed out by anything related to sex.

by That one guy who resides within... October 1, 2007

closet caper

An act wherein a group of friends are invited to hide in a closet and videotape an unsupecting female having intercourse with owner of said closet.

"You guys wanna come over tonight and closet caper this chick"?

by DJ Jason May 13, 2005

closetture

random furniture that doubles as closet space; most often a chair or desk that fresh (or worn clothes) are piled, hung or tossed on to.

"i've replaced my floordrobe with a 5-piece closetture"

by pennz August 4, 2007

Closed Door Policy

1 Slang in a corporate environment where feedback and open communication from cubicle monkeys is strongly discouraged. Opposite of Open Door Policy.

2 Sarcastic term used to mock an organization's Open Door Policy double speak, when their Open Door Policy is just meaningless tripe and lip service.

I thought of a great way to save the company some money, but our manager's Closed Door Policy ensures that will never happen... she thinks ideas from the cubicle farm are a waste of her precious time. I feel like such a tool.

by Security Wonk August 13, 2008