A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
by taserbrain February 12, 2010
Get the Taser Monkeymug. I suggest you don't wet the monkey when your mother's in the room.
That movie tried too hard to wet the monkey; it just looked painful.
That movie tried too hard to wet the monkey; it just looked painful.
by Bishopk March 4, 2009
Get the wet the monkeymug. by Young James April 23, 2008
Get the monkey tugmug. by Shuter.iv October 30, 2018
Get the Nic monkeymug. A sexual position on the secret last page of the kama sutra sex book, in which the male hangs upside down from a rope attatched to the ceiling and another male/female hangs from the first males genitals. The rope is then rapidly swung in an anti clockwise direction, putting a lot of stress on the first males genitals; the primary objective being to enlarge the penis.
faiz had a 7 foot long dick, must have been practisibg the spazzy monkey often.
danesh has the biggest penis I have ever seen. That's coz he does the spazzy monkey with joshua
danesh has the biggest penis I have ever seen. That's coz he does the spazzy monkey with joshua
by Al Jabreezi Jihad November 23, 2013
Get the spazzy monkeymug. A shuttle-Monkey is someone who prefers to get a lift up a mountain by car or chairlift instead of putting in the effort to ride up and earn the downhill rip.
by onedollarbill October 18, 2006
Get the Shuttle-Monkeymug. When someone is punked(tricked), they have been monkey trapped. Originally from a volleyball play where the attacker baits the opponent to touch the net and end in a point for the other team.
by ggggvgggg October 30, 2011
Get the monkey trapmug.