A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
by taserbrain February 12, 2010
Get the Taser Monkeymug. by Dr. KLUE September 30, 2008
Get the flab monkeymug. When you and your friends hide in a tree and jump down when people walk beneath you, scaring the crap out of them
Dude, remember that one time we were playing night monkey and I got chased?
Oh dude that was so funny!
Oh dude that was so funny!
by Nicky J! April 23, 2009
Get the Night Monkeymug. Cradling your significant other's hefty ball sacks in the cup of your hand, taking pressure off the penal area known as the perineum.
Hey dude?
YEah man...
Your balls look tired
Yeah i had a rough day
Weellllllll i mean ill cradle monkey them for a little bit so they can relieve circulation.....i mean if thats okay..
.........ummmm sure.....is that gay?
No man not at all........let me do it
YEah man...
Your balls look tired
Yeah i had a rough day
Weellllllll i mean ill cradle monkey them for a little bit so they can relieve circulation.....i mean if thats okay..
.........ummmm sure.....is that gay?
No man not at all........let me do it
by HPFBanana Hammock March 31, 2011
Get the Cradle Monkeymug. Dawn: You are the best guy ever. I can't believe we are in this relationship. I've always wanted someone like you in my life.
Bob: I didn't know you were this much of a gush monkey. :p. It's cute.
Bob: I didn't know you were this much of a gush monkey. :p. It's cute.
by gushmonkey May 10, 2011
Get the Gush monkeymug. When a women is crouching/squatting in the tub naked facing the faucet with it running. She then repeadetly catches water in her hands and hand over hand begins tossing it into her vagina in hopes to extract male sperm (cum) out of her. The motion similar to that of a monkey throwing there feces hand over hand over there shoulders. (Yet in the situations one hand at a time and into there vagina)
Male: Hey hunny I hear the shower running. Coming in to join you. hehehe
Female: (not responding/did not hear)
Male: (sneaks in and sees her in tub) Um hey...
Female: GET OUT OF HERE!!
Male: Did I just catch you doing a Monkey Douche
Female: (not responding/did not hear)
Male: (sneaks in and sees her in tub) Um hey...
Female: GET OUT OF HERE!!
Male: Did I just catch you doing a Monkey Douche
by Skillet Sensation July 9, 2010
Get the Monkey Douchemug. Someone who has an invisible, permanent "Kick Me" sign taped to their back.
They're the butt of almost any demeaning joke, they commonly have horrible luck, and a large amount of horrible things happen to them. Their existence is just to solely have horrible things happen to them. If anything positive happens to them, the person usually gets screwed over in the end.
They're the butt of almost any demeaning joke, they commonly have horrible luck, and a large amount of horrible things happen to them. Their existence is just to solely have horrible things happen to them. If anything positive happens to them, the person usually gets screwed over in the end.
Charlie Brown from Peanuts is probably the best example for a "Butt Monkey".
Bill Dauterive from King Of The Hill.
Bill Dauterive from King Of The Hill.
by Sadow August 31, 2013
Get the Butt Monkeymug.