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Jared

The epitome of laziness. Loves to fondle cats and touch their privates. When attacking a Jared, do not go for the head, because it is metal plated, you won’t phase him. Typically looks like they’re lost and walking in circles, but don’t interrupt them, this is how they think, and disturbing them could ruin their entire day.
Stop being a Jared.
by NickyRen October 18, 2022
mugGet the Jaredmug.

jared perkins

awsome and geart at soccer
friend of all

fisher
by jgpsoccer May 13, 2011
mugGet the jared perkinsmug.

Jared

Jared has a little dick and is tall and he is very dumb and doesn't know what he is doing with his life
you can use it in a sentence when like you are eating you are jared
by namalada March 7, 2022
mugGet the Jaredmug.

Jared

Jared is always the name of a doomsday cult leader. Jared is, contrary to most cult leaders, a snivelling goblin man, who has somehow amassed a large following. He is usually accompanied by 2-3 bodyguards carrying weapons of some kind - in some cases, Jared will needlessly kill one of the bodyguards for some fucking reason.

In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.
"It is I, Jared, the exalted leader of the Order of The Sun."
"..."
"Fucking Jared."
by piss boy jr February 19, 2022
mugGet the Jaredmug.

Jared's Ears

Most ticklish ginormous, and gargantious motherfuckers on this planet, in the solar system, in our galaxy, in our milkyway, and especially, on this side of the Mississippi. These existing figures that we call ears are the biggest most pergananant beings on the face of the same planet i breathe on
Man I got a real Jared's Ears on my balls
by Christophlak March 30, 2024
mugGet the Jared's Earsmug.

Jared

Jared is a tanned sexy radgie man who loves cocaine so much it’s sometimes all he thinks about , his penis is the fattest and biggest in all the land but sometimes seems to be a problem when it comes to small girls … he always loves to shuffle and do stupid things that he doesn’t think about
Fuck sake what is jared doing ….”
by Sexy brunette girl November 23, 2021
mugGet the Jaredmug.

Jared

a dick who makes you do everything and is socially a 13 year old in a skinny asshole body
You finally broke up with Jared!
by yeudeudkdksksksk December 5, 2019
mugGet the Jaredmug.

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