A spiritual sexual act, used to assert dominance on the Mormons. To complete the holy act, you will need a flash light, and a crucifix. Once you have convinced the dirty Mormon girl to bless you with her precious womb, you will position her into the “doggy” position. (You must ensure the room is completely dark) as you proceed to pound away, you sneak out the flash light and crucifix. With Cheetah like speed you turn on the flashlight and jam it into her anal cavity, to where the light is shining into your face, and proceed to raise the cross above your head, announcing that Jesus has been resurrected.
“As the light of holiness touched my face, and the cross was above my head, she coward in fear. For Jesus had been rebirth’Ed in her womb. The “Resurrection of Christ.”
by Daddydamon94 January 20, 2021
Get the Resurrection of Christ mug.People who say what should have been done before a natural disaster, but after the disaster has already occurred. People who criticize rescue and recovery efforts or say what should be done while sitting on their sofa or couch at home watching it on Tv. Inaction to help, but continue to critique and criticize. - SEE SOFA SAVIOR - people who are going to save the world from their sofa or couch.
While watching Maui rescue on TV, my father turned into a real Couch Christ saying what rescuers should be doing differently. Yet, he has no experience in rescue operations.
by Captain LRC July 12, 2025
Get the Couch Christ mug.by Chijioke Victor March 3, 2023
Get the Jesus Christ mug.Rob: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MY FUCKING ARM IS FUCKING CUT OPEN LIKE A PUSSY GOD HELP THE FUCKING PAIN FGFHTDGHFHGDHDFSGRSGHFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKK *inhales* AHAGAGAHGAGAHYHAHAAAAGAGAGGGAGAAAAAAÀÆAAAAAA *lungs start to collapse* HAGHAGHAGAHHGAGAGEEEAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYUUUUUU AUGEGHGHGHGHGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *right lung is collapsed* LORD PLEASE SEND ME TO HEAVEN BEFORE I DIE I'M SORRY FOR BEING HORNY, WATCHING HENTAI, AND JERKING OFF, AGAHAGAFGFFGAAAAAAAAAA *fucking dies*
by XxXdickblue1XxX November 16, 2021
Get the jesus fucking christ mug.Also known as ChristHands,
The cupping shape you make with your hands to pick up beverages when eating messy finger food - thus leaving the drink container free of grease and muck.
The cupping shape you make with your hands to pick up beverages when eating messy finger food - thus leaving the drink container free of grease and muck.
by loza569 January 20, 2009
Get the Hands of Christ mug.person 1: hey have you heard of Jesus Christ the Nazarene
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!
by IFuckingHateEve December 4, 2023
Get the Jesus Christ the Nazarene mug.by TimmyTastic March 24, 2024
Get the Jesus Christ mug.