Non-deal Deal
These are everywhere. They are so-called “special offers” or “amazing discounts” designed to make you feel like the company offering the “deal” is doing you a massive favour but are actually making you spend more money than you would normally.
“Buy one – Get one free” or “up to 50% off selected products” (Please get a magnifying glass out at this point and read the microscopic print, i.e. the terms and conditions). T &Cs usually state a short redeem date, a minimum spend (10% off if you spend £100 or more – what kind of fuckin offer is that?) usually on something you don’t really need or want, like flowers or big cases of wine, products you don’t usually buy, things like glasses, or at a shop you never go to that much, like Halfords, Ann Summers, Threshers and M&S.
These are everywhere. They are so-called “special offers” or “amazing discounts” designed to make you feel like the company offering the “deal” is doing you a massive favour but are actually making you spend more money than you would normally.
“Buy one – Get one free” or “up to 50% off selected products” (Please get a magnifying glass out at this point and read the microscopic print, i.e. the terms and conditions). T &Cs usually state a short redeem date, a minimum spend (10% off if you spend £100 or more – what kind of fuckin offer is that?) usually on something you don’t really need or want, like flowers or big cases of wine, products you don’t usually buy, things like glasses, or at a shop you never go to that much, like Halfords, Ann Summers, Threshers and M&S.
Me – Wow up to 50% off –let’s open this envelope and see what I can save money on!
OMG! It’s half price on a holiday to a private island on Dubai! Hmm, well I was going to go to Greece on a self-catering deal but let’s read on….. OK (squints at small print) – Must spend minimum of 1.5 million pounds/dollars etc, must be redeemed and holiday booked, within 2 weeks and holiday must be taken within 4 weeks. Travel insurance, spending money not included, meals not included, flight not included, must use pay toilet/bathroom and 30% service charge on all room service, meals in restaurants etc.
Oh OK that’s great – I’m saving 50%!!
OMG! It’s half price on a holiday to a private island on Dubai! Hmm, well I was going to go to Greece on a self-catering deal but let’s read on….. OK (squints at small print) – Must spend minimum of 1.5 million pounds/dollars etc, must be redeemed and holiday booked, within 2 weeks and holiday must be taken within 4 weeks. Travel insurance, spending money not included, meals not included, flight not included, must use pay toilet/bathroom and 30% service charge on all room service, meals in restaurants etc.
Oh OK that’s great – I’m saving 50%!!
by MissM July 11, 2005
Get the Non-Deal Deal mug.When different words are used to replace obsenity to prevent people from being hurt by rude language.
Example:
shit=shiat, shiet/shite, shiote
hell= heck
ass= arse
bitch= biotch, biatch beeeaatch
bastard= bastoard
fuckin(g)= friggin, freakin, fookin
fuck= freak
damn= darn
suck= stink
oh my God!= Oh, my goosh.
Example:
shit=shiat, shiet/shite, shiote
hell= heck
ass= arse
bitch= biotch, biatch beeeaatch
bastard= bastoard
fuckin(g)= friggin, freakin, fookin
fuck= freak
damn= darn
suck= stink
oh my God!= Oh, my goosh.
Non-offensive way: Oh, my goosh. He stuck his finger up Chad's arse and pulled out a lump of Chad's shiet. Why the heck did he do that? I bet he's a freakin biatch.
Translation: Oh my God! He stuck his finger up Chad's ass and pulled out a lump of Chad's shit! What the Hell was he doing? I bet he's a fucking bitch.
Translation: Oh my God! He stuck his finger up Chad's ass and pulled out a lump of Chad's shit! What the Hell was he doing? I bet he's a fucking bitch.
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