The largest douche bag on the planet. Has both mommy and daddy issues. Fails to comprehend even the most simplistic sentences and ideas. When he speaks everyone who hears it is instantly made dumber. He fails in school, in life, and in every other way possible. He is more unattractive than a $20 dollar a night motel bathroom. He thinks that the world is flat and that science is something you drink. His clothing choices have all the charm of a Klan rally. Jared likes his mom... a little too much. Jared is descended from a long line of complete morons, and he lives up to the standard his ancestors set.
by JimBobCooter1969 February 6, 2019
Get the Jared mug."JARED can you read the sentence"
"No I can not"
"Hey whats up, my names jared and I never learned how to fucking read"
"No I can not"
"Hey whats up, my names jared and I never learned how to fucking read"
by dEfInItIoNs SuCk February 16, 2019
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A Jared is someone who is both athletic and a bit of a geek. He gets his girlfriend pregnant by Junior year in High school. He'll leave his ex for a bigger titty bitch.
"Jared, we're through!"
by C0nman February 22, 2019
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Adj. Used when people are being stupid or obnoxious.
Verb. When someone is about to do something that they think is cool but actually isn’t.
Verb. When someone is about to do something that they think is cool but actually isn’t.
by Dr. Collan Mac May 4, 2019
Get the Jared mug.a misogynistic douchebag who doesn't know how to take a hint, but when he does he gets pissed off at you. he also has terrible road rage, and can't complete simple tasks over and over without getting irritated i.e. has zero patience. the kind of guy who will take you on a date as more than friends when it actually is just a friend date and will ruin your favorite music with memories of how he let his attraction to you get in the way of allowing you to have a good time.
by mikayla29102 May 5, 2019
Get the Jared mug.by ww2 xd May 10, 2019
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