Jared

Having the name Jared is basically having reached the end you are the best you have achieved everything if your name is Jared by the time you have completed life you will have made boris Johnson shut the fuck up you would have made infinate funny season of modern family you have in vented the infinate money machine you have defeated all these 9 year old internet clown who have supported jake Paul and Bryce hall and most importantly you have taken everyones girl on earth

Oh another Jared just stole my ting well he’s Jared he is a sexy beast it is natural

by Best defffonitions July 31, 2021

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Jared

Jared is the best buddy you could ever have, he no doubt has a cool car with a pathetic horn, lives with his mum, he lives of cigarettes and Mountain Dew!! He’s so cool that he wears sun glasses all day and all night, inside, outside it doesn’t matter with out them he just isn’t the same, and can’t see…

Hey you know that guy Jared? The sweaty boy, that drinks Mountain Dew like water? Yeah he’s so cool, the best bud ever! I wish I had a BFF like Jared.

by The most Methical Unicorn ever February 16, 2022

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Jared

Jared is always the name of a doomsday cult leader. Jared is, contrary to most cult leaders, a snivelling goblin man, who has somehow amassed a large following. He is usually accompanied by 2-3 bodyguards carrying weapons of some kind - in some cases, Jared will needlessly kill one of the bodyguards for some fucking reason.

In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.

"It is I, Jared, the exalted leader of the Order of The Sun."
"..."
"Fucking Jared."

by piss boy jr February 19, 2022

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