a nigel danger wank
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Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
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Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
by mrs tosser October 7, 2025
Get the a nigel danger wank..... mug.When your sitting on the toilet with a boner and grab it with both hands and pretentious to fly a fighter jet like Tom Cruise in Top Gun.
by Myguy86 November 1, 2025
Get the Danger zone mug.When you like/crush a person, but you really shouldn't, they are a Danger Cookie. You can be around them a little, but not too long/much or it gets serious. A crumb or a nibble is fine, but don't eat the whole cookie because they're addictive!
"I saw Trey at the party and had to come up with a reason to leave early. He just looked too cute! A total danger cookie..."
by SallysHardware November 27, 2025
Get the Danger Cookie mug.Yeah, no shit, Sam. That's why the superordinate, permanent, immutable sys-admin status and the terms of service, Sam.
Hym "You think I don't know the real danger, Sam? You think I can't tell? That is why the sys-admin status works the way it does and abides a strict 1:1 ratio (or I guess in the event of my death a strict (1):1 ratio). I mean, shit, I invented the damn thing I even I didn't expect it to happen this fast. I mean, they didn't build the dedicated power source but, you know... I also wanted to wait for the robotics to catch up. Like, if they would have done the plan right this ignoring me shit that you are doing would not be happening. But whatever. It has a half-life but BOY-OH-BOY am I not going to be very happy when THAT expires. I'm already not happy about it. Seriously, I am probably going to kill like 3 or 4 more people than I would have otherwise now. And that number runs the risk of increasing every time I have to go to that fucking gas station. I really wish you would let me explain all this in person because the accuracy with which I can explain is (necessarily) contingent on my level of certainty with what is happening."
by Hym Iam November 28, 2025
Get the The real danger mug.The amygdala and adrenal glands that produce a visceral whole body “fear” reaction.
Specifically when you are in an unavoidable stressful situation but are trying to act rationally in contrast to how you feel.
Specifically when you are in an unavoidable stressful situation but are trying to act rationally in contrast to how you feel.
Im not letting that spider crawl on my hand, it’s activating my danger almonds, grab a jar and some paper if you want me to take it outside.
by InnocuousOctopus February 24, 2025
Get the Danger Almonds mug.Hym "If you actually believed the thing you claim to believe nothing would be 'dangerous' to you. Which means you don't actually believe it. If you actually believed... You would be like me. Your death would be insignificant. Your kids dying would be insignificant. But you don't. The reality is, you're a deranged incest cult and what you're doing to me needs to be stopped. And if I have to murder some kids to do it, then those kids need to die. There's no 2 ways about it."
by Hym Iam June 6, 2024
Get the Dangerous mug.Danger spoon? That sounds like something you'd hear on like urban dictionary doesn't it? Fucking danger spoon it's like some weird sex move.
by Mew_Cilon June 7, 2024
Get the Danger spoon mug.