Murphys gay law

A term used to describe a time when you are having or have had a lot of bad luck or problems that are really messing your life up. When you feel like you have had more than your share of bad luck.

Joe: I just rolled my car so I wont be at the party tonight!
Greg: Man you are really having some bad luck! Didnt you just tell me you cut your arm off yesterday?!
Joe: Ya that right! Its Murphys gay law!

by txfarmboy May 10, 2011

Murphy's Locker room Law

When you select a locker in an empty locker room, the next person coming back to their locker will be right next to yours. If they happen to enter at the exact moment you're putting on your underwear, then their locker will be on the opposite side of you and they'll have to shuffle by uncomfortably close.

Me: (putting on underwear in the locker room)
Next guy: oh hi, I need to slip past you to get to my locker; hope you don't mind.
Me: No problem; it's Murphy's Locker room Law.
Next guy & Me: chuckle chuckle chuckle

by Grute Man August 27, 2017

Murphy's Pedestrian-Perks Law

Refers to the infuriatingly-common "lousy timing" occurrence of your seldom encountering the usually-hoped-for opportunities/pleasantries (i.e., neighbors relaxing on their front porches/lawns whom you can shoot the breeze with on your way by, pretty girls to hold hands with and "chat up for a few", sizable numbers of discarded returnable containers, etc.) whenever you're out for a stroll or otherwise leisurely traipsing around your local area on foot, yet when you either hitch a ride with someone or are "a man on a mission" in your own vehicle and thus you can't "acceptably" stop to avail yourself of any of these assorted "sidewalk delights", the roadsides you travel along will either be "chock-full of friendlies" or "Bottle/Can City", and so you'll be mentally "climbin' da walls" at having to agonizingly pass on by all of those much-desired goodies.

It was foggy and chilly when I started out walking around town to complete my weekly errands-list, and so there was hardly another soul outdoors, but then sometime later when I was riding back again with a neighbor who'd offered me a lift home, the weather turned clear and balmy again, and there were lots of smiley-faced sundress-clad cuties strolling the walks all over town! Guess it was Murphy's Pedestrian-Perks Law at work!

by QuacksO July 21, 2018

Murphy's Law of Getting Comfortable

"You can struggle for hours to get bearably comfortable --- i.e., warm enough, free of aches, etc. --- but then just as soon as you actually DO succeed in getting comfortably 'settled in' at long last, something unavoidable will come up dat will force you to relinquish said comfy position to go and tackle some disagreeable physical activity which will cause you to get chilly again, experience more bodily pain, etc."

Two "sister" examples of Murphy's Law of Getting Comfortable would be "Murphy's Law of Falling Asleep" (i.e., you can struggle for half the night or more to fall asleep, but then immediately after you finally drift off, someone or something comes along to wake you up again) and "Murphy's Law of Personal Comfort" (i.e., however comfortable you become will be in direct inverse proportion to da comfort of others in your vicinity; for example, da nearer you sit to a heater/air-conditioning duct, da more you will block da flow of said "moderated" air, and so while YOU YOURSELF may indeed feel more-tolerably warmer/cooler, EVERYONE ELSE in da room will feel even more uncomfortable than you would have if you'd sat a more-reasonable distance from said climate-control orifice. Or if you recline your seat on a public-transportation vehicle, said tilted-backwards back-rest will encroach on da extremely-limited "personal space" in front of da passenger seated behind you).

by QuacksO February 1, 2023

Murphy's Law of Attentiveness

Da "hanged if you do and hanged if you don't" fact-of-life irony regarding how a sizeable sector of da female populous treats any dude who shows interest in them romantically --- i.e., if a guy gets da idea from a gal's attitude/behavior towards him dat he should just mind his own business and not court her, she'll bawl and blubber dat he is making her feel ignored and unvalued. Yet if he then hastily begins persuing her in da naive belief dat this is what she wants, she'll go "bawlin' and blubberin" to da COPS and tearfully accuse him of harassing her! Can't win... :P

I always tread super-carefully when approaching a new lady for companionship or intimacy --- seems like Murphy's Law of Attentiveness is often lurking just around da corner to pounce on me and give me undeserved grief!

by QuacksO March 22, 2023

Murphy's Law of Engine-Idling Duration

"If you leave your vehicle's engine running during a delay in proceeding (traffic-jam, road construction, accident-resolution, "stuck" red signal-light, etc.), you will be sitting there for many minutes, just wasting gas. The instant you turn the key off and climb out of your seat to stretch, however, THAT'S when the line of traffic will begin moving again, and thus you will have shut off your engine "for nothing", AND you will now be holding up everyone behind you while you hastily hop back into the driver's seat and re-start the engine so that you can move forward again."

I finally took da plunge and bought a second-hand Toyota Prius because I'd eventually had one too many cases of Murphy's Law of Engine-Idling Duration... the Prius automatically shuts down its power during stand-stills, and then uses its electric motor to provide instant mobility as soon as you're ready to go again.

by QuacksO October 20, 2018

Murphy's Law Of Windshield-Damage

"You can leave a pitted/abraded/scratched/bubbled/discolored windshield in your car till 0%!$@&# Doomsday and it will never get hit, but then just as soon as you actually REPLACE said "ancient" glass wif a brand new one, THAT'S when you'll get a bleepin' BIG OL' PEBBLE tossed up by a passing vehicle, and star-crack your nice shiny-fresh windshield all to Hell!"

After several years I eventually got sick and tired of all da misty triplex-haze on my car's original-from-the-factory windshield, and so I finally replaced it --- wouldn't you know that the VERY NEXT DAY it got a huge crack in it after a rock got thrown up by the wheel of a passing dump-truck! Ahhhhrrrggggghhhhh... classic case of Murphy's Law Of Windshield-Damage, I guess!!

by QuacksO July 31, 2018