Someone who masks their hipster attitudes by dressing normally. A closet hipster doesn't physically stand out, but deep down inside, they are glaring at you for your terrible music tastes and consumerist lifestyle.
Lawrence is a closet hipster. He stands out in all the wrong ways at indie concerts and hates Coldplay.
by LK88 December 1, 2010
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A costume made up of clothing that was purchased or found in your closet. Involves little to no alteration of the clothing.
My Tifa costume was completely closet cosplay, but I made the armor myself.
by mellyb October 22, 2008
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Someone who avidly denies that they are a weeb even if they are one - may involve insulting other weebs to hide their own weebiness
"Hey zuke, are you a weeb"
"No, you are the weeb trash, I don't watch that garbage you weeb"
"but you do watch it, you closet weeb"
by andyforlaifu February 16, 2020
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Someone who looks and acts innocent in public, but becomes a huge sexual freak behind closed doors.
The one you wouldn't suspect.
Kristy only ACTS like a goody two shoes. She's really a MAJOR Closet Freak.
by Clarissa To April 26, 2006
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(N) A statement or physical item and or person to hide someone's homosexuality.
Def 1;
Person 1: He says he likes big butts.
Person 2: That's such a lie he's totally gay it must be a closet guard.

Def 2;
Person 1: I heard that he is dating some girl but he is so homosexual and there's nothing wrong with that but ya.
Person 2: Must be a closet guard.

In other words beard
by The Bouchebag August 12, 2014
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A nice, sweet, and seemingly decent girl who pretends to be a "goody good". In reality she is at college cheating on her boy friend back home, having flings with and making out with countless douchebag guys, and sucking dick when she gets drunk enough.
Joe: Turns out Megan is a closet whore.

Jon: Doesn't surprise me, they are everywhere now days.
by "The truth" July 4, 2012
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Where u been john huh, have you been in the wanking closet again, I told u last week if u feel the need have a cold shower or read fat naked birds, don't wank at work!!!!
by mitch00uk April 4, 2015
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