noun. The premiere vehicle for selfish douchebags. These are usually observed tailgating schoolbuses, driving in bus lanes and occupying fire lanes and handicapped spots while the non-handicapped driver emerges wearing socks and sandals and shuffles to get an energy drink or some vape cartridges.
by GoinRoje July 1, 2021
Get the Douchecalade mug.(Noun) One who is not a douchewhole; a person who has not attained a state of douchewholeness or its spiritual counterpart, doucheholiness; that is, the state of being merged or one with Almighty Douchegod, whose Wholly Doucheword and only begotten son, Douchechrist is prophecied to return from the Doucheheavens in a Douche-ocolypse of divine Douchejudgment. It says so right here in the pages of this Douchebook.
A: "Honey, where's the Douchebook? I need to say my doucheprayers."
B: "Mm, someone sounds guilty that he was a douchehalf, and didn't go to Douchemass last week."
A: "What a fine Douchechristian wife I married. Honey, I'm going to go around irrelevantly telling total strangers to 'have a doucheblessed day' all the time, just 'cause I feel so doucheblessed to be your douchehusband. Praise Douchegod!"
B: "Mm, someone sounds guilty that he was a douchehalf, and didn't go to Douchemass last week."
A: "What a fine Douchechristian wife I married. Honey, I'm going to go around irrelevantly telling total strangers to 'have a doucheblessed day' all the time, just 'cause I feel so doucheblessed to be your douchehusband. Praise Douchegod!"
by ignorethesefourwords November 13, 2012
Get the douchehalf mug.Related Words
(doo-she-AL-it-ee) - NOUN: one's innate capacity to be a complete and utter douche -- provoked or not.
by blfb April 28, 2010
Get the Doucheality mug.A person (or persons) influencing or personally changing the aroma and/or secretions of the female vagina. Forcing the female to participate in a vaginal cleaning otherwise know as douching!
"God Lori, I had sex with John last night and now my pussy stinks! I am never sleeping with that Douchebait again!"
by Melissa & Phoebe December 21, 2005
Get the Douchebait mug.Fulfilling your Mayoral duties of hobnobbing with old business connections, hugging women and kissing babies, instead of hanging out with us plain-folk
The Douchemayor stood us up again.
by Willie December 9, 2004
Get the Douchemayor mug.Someone who constantly draws in completely douche individuals despite trying NOT to. Whether it be shitty boyfriends, unreliable friends, or OCD co-workers, a douchemag seems to be the powerhouse magnet who brings them ALL of them into their lives.
"Miranda must be a complete and total douchemag! Her newest boyfriend stole her checkbook to pay a hooker!"
"I'm pretty convinced I'm a douchemag because I can't count on any of my lame ass friends."
"I'm pretty convinced I'm a douchemag because I can't count on any of my lame ass friends."
by Blisslyke April 21, 2009
Get the douchemag mug.A person whose has committed the ultimate immature, lazy, stupid or ridiculous act ever conceived. A situation where the term Douche-bag is simply not expressive enough.
A male classmate (during class) tells the entire room a rape joke, the majority of the class is female. Afterwards proclaims "why was that inaproperate?"
"Man, that guy is a douchemachete."
"Man, that guy is a douchemachete."
by holyshatandall May 26, 2009
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