douche satchel

a "satchel" is a really big bag... of "douche". So someone who is a really big douche bag, would be a "douche satchel"

an expletive, used in instances of anger/frustration

That guy almost hit me with is car, DOUCHE SATCHEL!

by tl77 November 25, 2010

Douche Scale

Often, calling someone a douche doesn't seem to be enough to represent their level of douche-baggery, thus the douche scale was invented, so as to quantify one's doucheness. Depending on the area you live in , different things are equivalent to different values on the scale. A basic, point system is used (see example). Usually one is marked on their doucheness out of 100. Keep in mind that those are just guidelines as to point distribution.

EXAMPLE DOUCHE SCALE

Clothing (20 points):
- Popped collar in back but not on sides = 5 douche point
- Popped collar everywhere = 10 douche points
- Polo shirt of an arguably flamboyant color (usually from hollister or a company synonmous with it) = 10 douche points

Behaviour (60 points):
- Talking loud enough so everyone in a 50 foot radius can hear you = 10 douche points
- Talking about oneself chronically = 10 douche points
- Pretending to be a different ethnicity (e.g. wiggers) = 20 douche points
- General douche-baggery(you can choose what this may consist of) = 20 points

Physical Appearance:
- Gelled hair = 10 douche points
- Excessive facial hair = 10 douche points

by sauce^noob January 19, 2009

DOUCHE SACK

A fanny pack worn around the waist, positioned in front rather behind.

"Look at that douche bag wearing that douche sack....it's so late '80s!"

by AfterMidnight April 21, 2009

Douche Side

When formerly nice/cool people turn into Douche Bags, they turn to the Douche Side of the Force.

After Kyler got a job he started wearing Hugo Boss and turned to the Douche Side of the Force.

by Emporer Palpitizzle June 3, 2009

douche snorkel

1. I snorkel used to navigate your way through copious amounts of douche.

2. A fucking, cock sucker.

1. Guy 1: "THERE'S SO MUCH DOUCHE!!!"

Guy 2: "Good thing I brought my Douche Snorkel."

2. Guy 1: " I heard Jimmy fucked your mom."

Guy 2: "Yeah, he's a total douche snorkel."

by Legit Ballin June 3, 2010

Douche Spicket

To continuing to talk, usually to the media, about nothing in order to gain attention for your group or cause no matter how fucking stupid or batshit crazy thier mission in life is.

That Douche Spicket that wants to burn Qurans is on the news again.

by UpLate38 September 10, 2010

douche swaggled

When someone has been screwed over or ripped off.

Damn, someone stole my stash. I've been douche swaggled.

by part time chef February 9, 2014