Reform Candidate

Noun;
Someone who's parents should have wiped them on the curtains approximately 9 months prior to their birth

I wouldn't vote for the reform candidate, even if it would mean I would never have to work again

by HyperSkylight July 3, 2024

The Best Candidate For Grade 9 Rep

Roni Melamed, Obviously.

Dave: Who are you going to vote for grade rep?

Jennifer: I'm gonna vote for Roni M, obv. She's the best candidate for grade 9 rep.

by VoteForRoniM September 25, 2020

paper candidate

A candidate representing a political party who seems highly unlikely to win, and although they are standing for office in good faith, may not be intending to campaign hard either. They usually do not have many resources, and may be political newcomers (or has-beens who are reluctant to leave politics). Their own organizations may not be willing or able to offer much support. As a result, they are usually not very visible on the campaign trail beyond putting up a few signs. In Quebec, the term for this type of candidate is “poteau” (post or pole), referring to signage on fenceposts or utility poles. Some may not campaign at all, just appearing on the ballot (“name on ballot”/NoB). Often this situation arises when a national political party wants to maintain its profile by running candidates in every district across the country, even ones that have traditionally shown little support.

This is not the same thing as a person who decides to run (or is manipulated into entering the race by other interests) in order to split the vote and prevent someone else from winning. An example of that from fiction is Willie Stark’s first gubernatorial campaign in “All The King’s Men”.

"When I went to vote today, I noticed Bob Aardvark's name at the top of the ballot. I didn't see him out campaigning and we didn't even get any campaign literature from him during the election. He must be a paper candidate. Wouldn't it be funny if a lot of people just voted for the first name they saw, and he got in~"

by TapirTrouble October 21, 2020

Quality candidate

person hired to fulfill diversity quotas, often a product of academic Leadership programs designed to fast-track unqualified candidates into management positions to fulfill
Affirmative Action requirements.

LaTonya was the Quality candidate picked to be the office manager.

by Turf Runner March 21, 2013

gubernatoryal candidate

A state-house-head hopeful with loyalist views.

By da mid 1770's, the majority of Americans were fed up with Merry Old England's treatment of them, and so there would likely have been few votes for any gubernatoryal candidates.

by QuacksO August 26, 2024

Darwin Candidate

A person lacking any reservations about doing incredibly stupid things which could lead to their demise. Almost as if natural evolution had removed self preservation from this person's thought processes. Juggling loaded guns or making the same breakfast everyday for a serial killer who gets tired of routine things. There is a level of certainty to which this person will eventually succeed in creatively thinning the gene pool for specie, for the better. Hopefully, before they have a chance to procreate thus creating another generation of Darwin Candidates.

Dave: "Hey guys, I have a great idea! Let's all go on a moped, outdoor camping safari in Africa.
Tom: "Don't you think that is a little dangerous?
Dave: "Nah, I have .22 calibur handgun if anything goes wrong.
Tom: "Dave, have you ever heard of a Darwin Candidate?"
Dave: "Nope, don't care. I am such a good shot, I can kill anything. ... (10 minute tirade of how he is the best at everything)"

by DearStupid September 1, 2022

Presidential Candidate

Another name for taking a shit

I Woke up this morning and had to take a presidential candidate

by horse23789 February 2, 2024