Spanking the Crab

Having sexual relations with a female, who has recently received a sunburn on her genital area.

After a long day at the local nude beach, Melinda received a god awful sunburn, but Ryan still talked her into a long night of Spanking the Crab.

by Nasty Society January 26, 2011

spanking whiteys

Enjoying a perfectly made White Russian before sharing some laughs, with friends. The Dude abides.

1: Hey dude, let's start spanking whiteys.
2: Fuck yeah! Then let's share a laugh!

by tcw4 November 26, 2014

SPANKING THE TURTLE

The act of trying to slap a turtle head back up your luscious cheeks to avoid sheer embarrassment and the otter humiliation that comes with shitting your pants. This commonly done when restrooms are not available.

“Bro, I was SPANKING THE TURTLE 🐢 in hopes I would make it to a bathroom in time.”

by Steven dickerson June 17, 2018

Spanking the ghost

When you jerk off into a condom and finish inside of it. The only thing you stand to lose is your dignity and self respect.

Eric: Hey has anyone seen Brad?
Rob: He went off to the bathroom with a box of condoms. He’s probably spanking the ghost in there.

by GxRice April 10, 2023

Spanking The Human

When you see a monkey jerking it. Instead of the monkey spanking his monkey he's spanking his human.

WTF dude the monkey is Spanking The Human.

by Psyco6 March 6, 2012

Spanking the Jellyfish

Masturbating

Holy shit dude, my mom almost walked in on me spanking the jellyfish!

Turn the fucking fan on! I can hear you spanking the jellyfish!

by CR24 September 1, 2009

spanking the monkey

M

Don't disturb him he's in his bedroom spanking the monkey.

by Not Bob at all March 10, 2018