Murphys gay law

A term used to describe a time when you are having or have had a lot of bad luck or problems that are really messing your life up. When you feel like you have had more than your share of bad luck.

Joe: I just rolled my car so I wont be at the party tonight!
Greg: Man you are really having some bad luck! Didnt you just tell me you cut your arm off yesterday?!
Joe: Ya that right! Its Murphys gay law!

by txfarmboy May 10, 2011

Murphy's Locker room Law

When you select a locker in an empty locker room, the next person coming back to their locker will be right next to yours. If they happen to enter at the exact moment you're putting on your underwear, then their locker will be on the opposite side of you and they'll have to shuffle by uncomfortably close.

Me: (putting on underwear in the locker room)
Next guy: oh hi, I need to slip past you to get to my locker; hope you don't mind.
Me: No problem; it's Murphy's Locker room Law.
Next guy & Me: chuckle chuckle chuckle

by Grute Man August 27, 2017

Murphy's Pedestrian-Perks Law

Refers to the infuriatingly-common "lousy timing" occurrence of your seldom encountering the usually-hoped-for opportunities/pleasantries (i.e., neighbors relaxing on their front porches/lawns whom you can shoot the breeze with on your way by, pretty girls to hold hands with and "chat up for a few", sizable numbers of discarded returnable containers, etc.) whenever you're out for a stroll or otherwise leisurely traipsing around your local area on foot, yet when you either hitch a ride with someone or are "a man on a mission" in your own vehicle and thus you can't "acceptably" stop to avail yourself of any of these assorted "sidewalk delights", the roadsides you travel along will either be "chock-full of friendlies" or "Bottle/Can City", and so you'll be mentally "climbin' da walls" at having to agonizingly pass on by all of those much-desired goodies.

It was foggy and chilly when I started out walking around town to complete my weekly errands-list, and so there was hardly another soul outdoors, but then sometime later when I was riding back again with a neighbor who'd offered me a lift home, the weather turned clear and balmy again, and there were lots of smiley-faced sundress-clad cuties strolling the walks all over town! Guess it was Murphy's Pedestrian-Perks Law at work!

by QuacksO July 21, 2018

Murphy's Law of Snoring

"Your slumber-partner will snooze silently during periods that you're up and away from the boudoir, but then he will totally 'saw logs' whenever you're actually cohabitating with him --- and wanting to get some shut-eye --- in the same bed."

Perhaps many instances of Murphy's Law of Snoring stem from the snorer's needing more space to "spread out", which he would have whenever he has the whole bed to himself; being more cramped can restrict air-passages and so on..

by QuacksO September 29, 2019

Murphy's Law of Internet-Speed

"The 'speed' of the Internet --- i.e., how long web-pages take to 'load' and/or respond to you mouse-clicks --- will be in direct inverse proportion to how urgently you need to view the desired material; the connection will be even slower at times there's someone else waiting for you who's also in a hurry.

My buddy needed me to hastily Google engine-bolt-torquing specs during an emergency-repair task he was struggling to get done before a downpour, but the Web was "slower dan molasses runnin' uphill in da wintertime" --- it was a classic "Murphy's Law of Internet-Speed" scenario!

by QuacksO July 28, 2018

Murphy's Law of Intersections

"You can 'watch 'n' observe' as carefully as you please while driving and you will still miss your turn-off, and so no amount of continued 'Oh, I'm sure it's just around the next curve" tootling further down the road will bring you to it. But if you do actually decide to turn around and go back to see if you did inadvertently pass your desired intersection, it will of course NOT be 'back there', and you will subsequently find out that you'd been within just a few hundred yards of it at the point when you'd turned around, and so you simply wasted gas and time by backtracking; it had indeed been 'just around the next corner', and so you'd have reached it the first time if you simply hadn't been so gol-durned impatient."

I missed my turn-off during a road-trip because I was carefully watching out for traffic and thus never noticed the side-road I wanted --- classic case of Murphy's Law of Intersections!

by QuacksO May 18, 2019

Murphy's Law of footlong-subs

If you order just one of said tasty sandwiches, you will still feel hungry afterwards, but if you ask for two of them, you will only be able to finish one, and so you'll hafta just refrigerate da second one for later.

Having a friend treat you to lunch is a classic occasion for Murphy's law of footlong-subs to pounce and embarrass you. One simple and sensible way to avoid this face-reddening situation would be if your friend both has a smaller appetite than you and likes a lot of da same kinds of filling-ingredients; in dat case, you could just order two sandwiches, eat one, have your friend consume his fill of da other one, and then give da rest to you to finish along wif your own.

by QuacksO August 15, 2025